Mother of all Bogs...

Time now for the long drawn out post of my summer vacation...and my trip to visit the spirit of Gram Parsons!



The trip to Arizona (and finally to Joshua Tree) was an interseting one to say the least. Where to start…how about at the beginning.


The joy of flying out of a small airport like the one in Bloomington is that there’s really no reason to rush, or show up two hours early for that matter. But, the lax feel of the airport may have been the reason that my trip started out on such a, shall we say, interesting note!

After spending the afternoon with my buddy Ryan it was finally time to head out to CIRA. I jumped out of my truck…grabbed my luggage and laptop bag and off I went. I cleared the TSA screening in no time flat due to my propensity to only fly carryon. Once at the gate I got the good news that the plane would actually be getting off the ground about twenty minutes early!!

I found a seat at the window of the terminal and settled in for a little treat of Gram Parsons and Emmylou Harris doing “Big Mouth Blues”. The video wasn’t the best quality…but then again I did just download it off of YouTube the night before!

Now here is where things start to go awry. I reach into my pocket for my trusty ipod video….not there! I reach into my bag…not there! I go into my laptop bag….you guessed it…not there! It is then that I realize that it is most likely still plugged into my truck’s ipod connector.

Without even really thinking (I know it’s hard to believe) I ask the girl next to me if she will keep an eye on my bags while I run to my truck for something I forgot! She, being the nice person she was, said that would not be problem. With my bags in the safe guard of a total stranger (starting to get where this is going) I took off for the parking lot.

CIRA is not a big airport…but at the same time it’s not tiny either. So after making my way back to security and getting buzzed back through to the outside world it hits me…SHIT I seem to have left my boarding pass back in my laptop bag!

Being the considerate person I am I decided to bring this miscalculation to the attention of the nearest TSA agent.

“Sir, I seem to have made a small error in judgment, I needed to run to my truck for my medication I forgot…and it seems that I have left my boarding pass in my laptop bag.” I said in my most kiss ass/feel sorry for me tone!

The TSA agent responds with, “Oh, well…I am going to have to call my supervisor!”

“No problem.”, I reply.

It is at this time that his “supervisor” arrives to speak with me…I am now probably the only “security threat” the airport has seen! Now I get the honor of retelling my story to this, rather annoyed, person. This conversation has a slightly different outcome though.

“Is there a problem?”, Bonnie, TSA Supervisor.

“Yes, seems in my rush to get out to my truck to get some medication I left there….I …. uh…left my boarding pass in my laptop bag!”

“Well, (deep sigh) what is the name of your travel companion?”

“Travel companion?”

“Yes, the person you left your bags with!

“Oh, I don’t know her name!”

“You mean to tell me you left your bag with a stranger? What does she look like”

“Yes I did…haha…sorry! Uh, she was, well, a girl! She was wearing shorts and a t-shirt….she was sitting by the window and typing on her laptop….oh and she will have my bags by her!! (Big smile)”

Disgusted, apparently my attempt at levity didn’t have an effect, here is the response I get…

"Wait right here sir! I will go retrieve your bags!”

After a wait of about ten minutes she comes down with my bags in tow, and she doesn’t look happy! Granted I must be the dumbest person she has dealt with in the past few hours, maybe days, but that’s no reason to get pissy with me. Is it?

She finally passes through security in order to hand me back the offending bags.

I think that I will say sorry and take the bags, hump it out to my truck, and then back into the airport. Things didn’t really go that smoothly!

“Sir, I just want you to know that you should never ask a person to take your bags for you.”

To which I wanted to respond, ‘It’s not like I asked her to take them ON the plane.”

But, remembering what “Meet the Parents” taught me…you don’t joke or say the word bomb in an airport (not that the word bomb was going to be coming up anytime soon). So, I decided that a polite nod and saying nothing was my best approach.

“Sir, I think you need to realize that if this had been a bigger airport we would have taken these bags out back and blown them up! We never know what kind of bomb you could be carrying!”


Great, now the TSA agent has brought up the “B” word and others going through security are now staring at me! Hello!!


This security lecture goes on for about five minutes before she allows me to exit the airport and retrieve my medication….and ipod!


After a long, slow, walk to my truck I am ready to head back through security. I had my boarding pass to the same agent I did when I went through the first time. He looks at the pass, then at my ID, then back at my pass which has HIS signature on it….then back at me…and then he finally waves me through.


To save the long details, and a little embarrassment, lets just say the walk through security and bag screening, well… it didn’t go smoothly on my part!


When I finally make it back to the gate the poor girl who I left my bags with is still where I left her.


“Hey, sorry about that! Seems thing went awry when I forgot my boarding pass in my bag!”


"Yeah, I noticed….I got the ’never accept bags from strangers speech’ from the TSA agent!”


“Me too…sorry about that…hey, now you have a story to tell people on the other end of your trip!”


She laughed, but I could see that there was no way that this conversation was going to be going anywhere of interest! With that in mind I pulled out my ipod, this time actually nestled I my pocket, and settled in for some Gram and Emmylou.

From Bloomington to Atlanta was a very uneventful flight. I had the whole back third of the plane to myself, which was nice. I was able to settle in and watch a movie.


Finally we have touchdown in the ATL. I had planned to get a sandwich and maybe a $4 sweet tea. But, my plans changed when I found a place that served sweet tea for under $2 and had free refills! My hour layover was perfect!


I arranged myself next to the sweet tea pot and drank till I almost burst! Life is good and so is the tea.


Once we board for the flight to Phoenix I figure that nothing else can go wrong to give me anything to tell the folks when I reach AZ….I was wrong.


On the taxi way just before take off the pilot comes on the radio and says


“If you have hit the flight attendant call button by accident could you please turn it off now.”


Thirty second pass and the pilot comes on again….


"If you notice the call light above your seat is on, and it’s not an urgent emergency, please press the button again.”

Nothing happens….it is at this point that I can see, from the back of the plane, all the attendants gather around on of the exit row seats. By this time there is a slight buzz going in the back of the plane! So, we have a “urgent emergency” this should be interesting.

Turns out that the person sitting in the right side exit row thought they smelled jet fuel. Turns out they did…they were sitting right in front of the engine! Also, we were about eighth in line to take off…these factors combined to turn her seat into a bit of a stinker!


After the attendants, and pilot, reassured her that the smell was perfectly normal and would clear up once we were in flight…she hit her button again and we proceeded to take flight.


From that point on …. Nothing of great importance to tell…more movies….more pretzels (seems too many Americans are allergic to peanuts!) and half can of Diet Coke later I was in Phoenix ready to start my vacation.


First few days in town were throw away days. Did nothing but sat around, watched TV, lounged in the pool, watched TV, ate, napped….watched TV….see a pattern?


Then it came to Tuesday….the day I had built my whole vacation for!!! To fully understand this portion…I need to back up a few months!


My buddy Ryan is, to say the least, a music fanatic! One day a few months back he tells me that he has an old artist that he thinks I will really like! His name is Gram Parsons.

I have never heard of this….Gram Parsons guy! Should I have heard of him? What kind of music does he play? When did he record last? Any new material…or should I start with the old stuff?


Ryan proceeds to tell me about Gram….he recorded one album with The Byds, he was a founding member of The Flying Burrito Brothers, he did a lot of his later recordings with Emmylou Harris (he had basically jump started her career). He then goes on to tell me how, like many of the great artists of the mid-to-late Sixties and early Seventies, he died young of a drug/alcohol related “misadventure”.


So with Ryan’s recommendation in hand, I started to listen to Gram. I had no idea that I would fall in love with the sound that was Gram. By that, I mean Country Rock, or as Gram liked to call it….Cosmic American Music.


I was always the guy who bitched and moaned when the country station can on, when the TV stopped on CMT, or just when I passed the country section of a record store! My guess is that it had a lot to do with a bad country music phase back in Jr. High.

So, to say that I was shocked at the fact that I immediately fell hard for his style was a bit of an understatement. I have always been a fan of classic rock, the Byrds in particular. But, since I had always hated country, I had avoided their country flavored album “Sweetheart of the Rodeo”.


The first album I bought with GP on it was the master collection reissue of “Sweetheart” and I was floored. It’s a different album to listen to with and without Gram’s vocals.


Not to slide down into the murk that is the little (legal) details, but…Gram recorded the album with The Byrds while still under contract for his own band, The International Submarine Band. Legal issues rolled out…and Gram was almost entirely erased from the original release of “Sweetheart”


From there I grabbed any and all Gram that I could get my hands on! While Ryan still trumps me on overall knowledge of all things Gram I now have one (maybe two) legs up on him….now we go to about two weeks before vacation starts.


While sitting around at the radio station where I work I got the bright idea of heading out into Joshua Tree National Park while I was in Arizona for vacation. No small task since the national park is four and a half hours away in California!


But, with my trusty internet intact I decided to find a hotel somewhere near the Joshua Tree National Park that Gram loved so much. I was shocked to find what I did.


Going back to the sad end of Gram Parsons.


It seems that Gram succumbed to the wickeds of Tequila and Morphine (depending on what historian you talk to) late one night at the Joshua Tree Inn which is located along 29 Palms Highway in Joshua Tree, California. He was rushed to a hospital when his friends found him unresponsive in his room (Room 8) at the Inn. While he was pronounced dead at the hospital, it is believed he had passed sometime before arrival. Most likely while still in his room.


To make a long story short: his body was flown to Los Angeles, stolen by his road manager, driven back to the Joshua Tree National Park where his manager tried (Unsuccessfully) to cremate his body.

For anyone not familiar with the story I feel it is only right to note that the cremation (maybe not in its final form) was what Gram wanted, according to his manager and friends.


So for the years to come heading to the Mojave Desert, and Joshua Tree National Park became a pilgrimage of sorts for fans of Gram and his music.


Makeshift memorials to the man appear almost daily out at the formation in the park known as Cap Rock. But, the park rangers regularly remove the memorials and sand blast messages left for Gram on the surrounding rocks. An occurrence I was familiar with…but was really hoping wasn’t going to come into play once I reached Cap Rock.


That being said…let’s get back to the trip…..


So, it’s early on a Tuesday morning and my dad and I have packed the rental car and have started the four hour road trip to Joshua Tree. I am trying to recall if anything of note happened on the drive out….and the answer is a resounding no.


Other than the fact that we came across a gas station just across the boarder into California that didn’t take credit cards. I found it a little strange that they were a strictly cash/debit kind of establishment. Really puts a crimp on your travel plans when you only carry a little cash and a lot of plastic!


For the sake of sanity I will fast forward four hours to our arrival to the Joshua Tree Inn.


When we pulled into the parking lot of the quaint little inn we were greeted by…well…no one! I take that back we did talk to a lady (who I would later find out was the “housekeeping”) in the parking lot. She was kind enough to inform us that we couldn’t check-in until 3pm due to the fact that the owners were out of town.


The good news is that they were only out of town for a short time to get supplies for the breakfast the next morning. Since my father and I were two of only maybe five or six people staying there that night I really didn’t have a clue what breakfast would turn out to be!


So with the knowledge that we couldn’t check in for about another hour and a half we asked for direction into Joshua Tree National Park. Once we got directions we were off in search of Cap Rock and the site of Gram’s “cremation”.


Now is when the story starts to pick up a bit!


We arrive at the main information building to the park. I, in my Gram Parsons & The Fallen Angels t-shirt, head into the station to ask directions to Cap Rock. It seems that on the large outdoor map of the park this one site has been conveniently left off the map!


I wander around for a few minutes and finally find the Rangers parked in a back room. It is at this point that I begin to engage “Ranger Rob” in conversation. I really thought he was joking about his name until I read his badge. Don’t know why it was so strange…just seemed to TV sitcomy.

Ranger Rob was talking to a much older Ranger….Ranger Bob! I kid you not….I thought this is going to be great!!!!


After a little chit chat with Rangers Rob and Bob I get around to asking for the location of Cap Rock and with it the Gram site.


Ranger Rob pulls out a map, while turning to Ranger Bob, “Hey Bob….we got a Gram Parsons fan here”


It is at this point that Ranger Bob looks at me….black Gram shirt and cowboy hat….and rolls his eyes. I can almost hear his thoughts…”Another one of you fuckers! I’m going to have to clean up more shit aren’t I?”


After about five minutes of direction from Rob on a map that looks like it was drawn by a six year old I’m back in the car and we are on our way.


We decide to take our time getting to Cap Rock, since it is all the way across the park. For the first few miles into the park we see, well, not a lot. For the most part it is just a collection of rocks and desert landscape. We didn’t even see a Joshua Tree for about ten minutes.


Speaking of that first Joshua Tree….
When we finally come across a “good” Joshua Tree it’s time to stop the car and take some pictures.

After we take a few pictures of the tree my dad turns around and looks at the hill/mountain/pile of rocks behind us. Before he brings up the camera he says to me…”why don’t you go and sit on that rock up there?”

My first thought is that he is talking about a rock near the car…but, he points about twenty feet up the hillside to a larger grouping. Me, in my infinite wisdom, decided that the group he is pointing at is way to close. I decided to hike my out of shape ass about two thirds of the way up the side to an even larger grouping of rocks near the top.

Now I am not in the best of shape! Actually, I would go so far as to say that I am totally out of shape! I don’t do hills/stairs/slight inclines usually. So, it must have been the thought of getting to Cap Rock and back to Gram’s room that kept me going.

By the time I reached the rock I was aiming at and was able to sit down…my asthma was killing me! But, I thought that pops was way down the mountain, he will never know. So, when he shouts up, “How you doing?” My response was a smile, a wave, a deep breathe and a good solid, “Fine!!”

After that I turned to admire the view from the top. I also decided with my back turned this would be a great time to take a hit off of my inhaler! Then all I had to do was sit there and look pretty while dad took some shots with the 35mm from down below.

I took some video and pictures with my phone from my vantage point upon a giant rock. It was then that I realized from up here I could actually get a cell phone signal, so I called Ryan to gloat about my proximity to all things Gram!

The best part of the climb was not the climb itself, the view, or just hanging out at the top….it was, of course, the climb down. This was made even more eventful by the fact that I was wearing the equivalent of dress shoes! Yeah, that’s right! I went storming up this rock and dirt and cactus filled mountain side in a pair of slip on sketchers.

Some how I made it up and down without slipping or falling, pulling or straining, or getting myself bloodied! I was very proud.

So once back in the car I took some time to transfer some of my digital shots to my laptop and off we went to the next “vista” Skull Rock!

Here we decided to get out of the car and both climb around on the rocks…didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. We did, however, think it would be wise to both throw on some tennis shoes.

Once properly equipped, or rather as properly equipped as the two of us were going to get, we headed off to Skull Rock.

We bummed around the outskirts of the formation for a few minutes taking tons of pictures. We finally got to the “Skull” that gave the rock its name. In typical fashion my father had a great idea for a picture. So I climbed on a rock across from the skull and dad went down to the formation…..and proceeded to look like he was picking the skull’s nose!

That’s my dad!

We were about to head back to the car when we noticed a formation that looked…well…shall we say a little dirty!

Now the formation may not have actually been dirty looking…but we BOTH thought it was and proceeded to head over in that general area to get a better look, and pictures.

This gutter thought led me to the best part of Skull Rock. Behind a bush just to the left of the formation we were looking at was a natural pass formed that led to the middle of Skull Rock. The opening was about five feet tall at the entrance but the ceiling in the middle was upwards of eight feet. Upon finding this we ducked into the pass and made our way to the middle.

***On a side note, it seems that some fine park visitor decided that the pass would also make a great place to go number two! I thought it was a dog…but my father (being ever observant) pointed out that he didn’t know of many dogs who used toilet paper! At that point we thought it would be best to just continue on through the pass.***

Once on the inside the view was amazing. Mini trails led off to the right, left and center. I took the center path and was rewarded with an even more amazing view.

The center path ran up the rock surface just to the left of a drop in the rocks, once you reached the top of the path it was like Skull Rock just flattened out. There were more chances to keep going up…but you could also just wander around on this “level”.

Looking out on the rest of the formation from this vantage point was worth the dookie and the climb. I must have blown through a full roll of film at this stop alone!

After about an hour in and around Skull Rock we decided that we should proceed on to Cap Rock. That wasn’t as easy as we thought it would be!

Seems that Ranger Rob had told us that we would have to turn down a road that was “under construction but you will be able to get as far as Cap Rock….when the road your are on “T’s” you will need to turn left and then just before the construction you will see Cap Rock.”

Should be easy enough to find we thought….stay on this road till we hit a T intersection. Which would be easy…if the road actually did end in a T intersection!

Rob the ranger SUCKS at giving direction. We almost drove completely out of the park before we realized that we were WAY past Cap Rock. Glad that we weren’t walking the park…we turned the car around and headed back to where we originally thought Cap Rock was located (turns out we were right on our first pass!).

We finally arrive at the rock formation I have been waiting months to see! Ever since my evil plan for a Gram vacation was hatched this (and checking into room 8) are what my vacation have been building towards.

Should be easy to find the “Gram section”!! Tons of messages, rock crosses, candles, empty booze bottles…or none of the above!

We must have showed up between the cleaning of the area and the arrival of the next flock of Gram Fans. My big mistake was the fact that I didn’t get a chance to look up any pictures on the internet before we headed out…so I was flying blind! In the end I think that is what killed me the most about the trip. I took a ton of photos and none of them are of the area I was truly looking for!

I did find a small grouping of two rocks away from Cap Rock that you could tell had, in the past, held mementos to Gram. The most obvious were the indentations on the smaller rock where candles had been placed, burned, and removed. Also, on the bigger of the two rocks it was apparent that candles had been burned near the base of the rock and in one spot you could see what looked like (to me anyway) the initials G.P. burned onto the rock.

With that in mind, I decided that this was as good a spot as any! Besides it was just the idea of being there that meant the most to me. Granted, being at the right spot would have been better! But, I couldn’t complain….I mean we were in the Mojave Desert and it never topped 83 degrees!

About two rolls of film and countless digital shots later we were ready to head back to the Inn.

We finally rolled back into the parking lot of the Joshua Tree Inn around 6pm. I walked into the office and finally met Kim, who along with her husband run the Inn. I had been talking with Kim for a few weeks via email in hopes of getting the Gram Room for my stay.

After filling out the appropriate paperwork and getting my key to the room I finally retrieved my father from the car. We slowly made our way to the room I had read about. This is where Gram overdosed on a mix of Tequila and Morphine…and I was about to spend the night there! This was going to be great!

As we approached the door I noticed a black cat just lounging on a chair across from the front door to the room…thinking nothing of it I proceeded to open the door. It was just like the pictures showed…with one small difference.

The moment the door to Room 8 opened the aforementioned cat got up out of his chair and waltzed right past my dad and I into the room and then jumped up on the bed. She gave my father and I a once over, a soft approving meow, then she was spread out on the bed. It was if this cat belonged to this room!

After tons of pictures, and a relaxing time on the bed, it was time to grab something to eat.

As we left the room we had to physically pick the cat up off the bed and place her back in her chair across from the room. Now, I know a lot of people who have cats and usually the cats put up a small fuss when you pick them up. Not this one!

Never before have I seen an animal who was so at home in one place that it didn’t matter who picked them up or petted them! This cat just loved the attention. Maybe she was old and decided that attention from a complete stranger was as good as any attention! But, still I was shocked by this “room accessory” cat!

Pops and I grabbed the keys and headed out to find some food…being that we are both fat guys, it is no wonder that we ended up at Sizzler!

***Funny side story here***

We are eating dinner at Sizzler and dad decides to try something that he has always heard about …. it’s a soup called Menudo! Judging by his facial expression on first tasting the soup I thought it was great! You see he has a old habit of pulling the whole “oh this is horrible” schtick before finishing off a new food! But, when he had the same disgusted look on his face after the second bite I thought something was wrong.

At this point I want nothing to do with that dish…but, in true guy fashion he can’t suffer alone. So I get the, “smell this?” line. Wow…how to I explain the aroma of this dish….DOOKIE. Yes, the dook in the desert had come back to haunt dad’s soup! It was the most excruciatingly horrible smelling food I have ever had the misfortune or being with in the same space!

***that’s all…just more Dookie***

When the meal ended we did what any self respecting music fan would do when staying in the room of his dead idol! We went to a liquor store and got some refreshments for the room! I picked up a small bottle of Sauza Gold Tequila and some Squirt. Nothing like poor man’s margaritas.

As we made our way back to the room we stopped to talk to a couple who were sitting outside there room a few doors down. Turns out they were big Gram fans from England. They had tried to book Room 8 but didn’t have the luck that I did (which I will get to in just a second). So being the hospitable folks that we are…we invited them down to take a look at the room. We chatted about Gram and the room for a bit and they went on their way.

Now, let’s examine how I got the room! The thought to stay I the room only came to me about three weeks before I left for vacation. I was on the website for the Inn and decided to look at when Room 8 was open. At first I was devastated, the only time it was open was the week after I was going to be out there. Also known as the week I had originally planned on going out. But, due to the pressure from my friends to attend my 10 year high school reunion I rescheduled for the week I ended up going out.

For the next week I kept a daily watch on the room for the days that I would be out in Arizona, and maybe in Joshua Tree. I called and emailed Kim at the Inn to see if there was a waiting list for the room incase of cancellations? She told me that she would put my name down and if anything happened she would give me a call. She also told me that in the time that she and her husband had run the Inn that there had only been a “few” no show/cancellations for Gram’s room. But, if anything happened she would let me know.

I kept watching the room all the way up until the Monday before I left. Then, out of nowhere, two days before I leave for Az, I am working at WPXN (the radio station where I DJ) and Brass Buttons by Gram comes on the air! I get depressed that I won’t be able to stay in the room AND I have to go to my class reunion!

Just for giggles I check the website…Saturday -- BOOKED, Sunday -- BOOKED, Monday -- BOOKED, Tuesday -- AVAILABLE!!! Oh MY GOD!!! Prayers really do get answered!

I drop everything that I am doing and book my ROCK -N- ROLL fantasy!

When I finally talked to Kim about the day I booked the room she said that it was a strange situation! Seems there was a guy who was staying at the Inn for the month. He had been jumping around from room to room in the Inn. That day he walked into the office and told her that he just didn’t want to stay in “That Room”. She wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t want anything to do with Room 8 on that Tuesday.

Kim opened the room up to the internet and within ten minutes I booked the room. So, basically at almost the exact time that Brass Buttons came on the station he was walking into her office and backing out of the room for the night I was going to be there!! Spooky? I think so!

So, I get a miracle cancellation on the room….perfect weather in the desert…Gram rocks!

Back in the room I settle in to do some drinking with my father….who backs out after one glass! Seems he is “non functional” the day after tequila. So, I drink one with my dad to Gram…head to the patio and pour out a little for Gram…then back in for some more drinking.

While beginning to down the bottle I start to flip through the guest journal. This is where people staying in Room 8 can leave their messages/memories to Gram. Near the front of the book is an amazing entry from Gram’s daughter Polly. I read on and, for the most part, the entries are all personal and poignant. There are a few that are your standard, “John and Mary were here…”.

I begin to formulate what I want to write. What’s the best way to do that? Well, when you have a half empty bottle of Tequila I think it’s to make that and empty bottle of Tequila!

In and attempt to get the creative juices flowing I head back out to the patio with my bottle. I was going to just do shots for a few hours. So I settled down on the patio, stared up at the stars, raised my bottle to Gram and then downed the rest. Shot idea…shot to hell!

A little buzzed I stumbled back into the room and proceeded to write my journal entry. I thought it turned out pretty good since I was a little impaired at the time I wrote it!

After watching a video of Big Mouth Blues that I downloaded off of YouTube and listening to “G.P” and “Safe at Home” I finally passed out.

I wish I could say that I had some sort of experience in the room. But, I didn’t! Mirrors didn’t move, I didn’t see Gram…nothing. I did have the best sleep of my vacation though.

Got to say my stay at the Joshua Tree Inn was fantastic! I could have stayed down the road at a Motel 6 for about $60 less…but I would have missed the ambiance of the great little retreat. Even if you are not a Gram Parsons fan I suggest that you spend the extra money for the chance to stay at an Inn that has more of a bed and breakfast feel! The best part was Kim was kind enough to let me get a Room 8 keychain (the price I paid is between Kim and Myself! **Thanks Kim**)

After a breakfast of a bagel and some milk we headed back to Cap Rock for one more look around! From there it was off to Nevada.

Not much to tell about the trip to Las Vegas Lite (Laughlin, NV) other than to say that my father in a moment of…shall we say panic….ran into the women’s restroom after a heavy weight fight with the buffet!

Use you imagination!

After returning to Phoenix on Friday my sister Debi and I attended my first Arizona Diamondbacks game! Seats were really good just a few feet from the Padres bullpen. Got to see two former Cubbies up close and personal as the battery for the Padres that game was Michael Barrett and Greg Maddux. D-Backs won the game 8-4 we got to see a few Home runs and an amazing Home Run robbing catch in right!

Oh, and I got the privilege of spending $10 on a beer! God I love baseball in person!

Got home with just enough time to do nothing on Saturday in preparation of my Sunday flight!

All I would need is an uneventful flight home and the vacation would be perfect! No hope of that! I suck when it comes to travel!

Flight from Phoenix to Chicago was on time and uneventful! Once in Chicago I learned that my only chance of an early flight home and left about the same time as I left Phoenix. Guess that means that I am hanging at O’Hare for about three and a half hours.

Now is when it gets fun, again!

When I got off the plane my Bloomington flight was on time. When I got to the next flight board it said that my flight had switched gates and was now going to be about twenty minutes late.

With that in mind I got a little dinner at Chili’s Too, then back to my gate to wait it out. Only problem is that my gate changed again! Now I was all the way at the end of the terminal on the lower level. I didn’t even know there was a lower level!

I get to the gate, only two hours now, and get my laptop set up. By the time my system boots and I get comfortable…an announcement is made that my flight is now back on time! And back at the original gate! WTF!

Time to pack up again and hump it back to the other end of the terminal…at least I am going to be leaving on time. NOT SO FAST.

Seems that the flight crew we were going to have was going to be landing about the same time we were supposed to be leaving for Bloomington! So, we were now back to being about a half hour late!

Finally the crew is there and I am on the plane.

I sit down and smile at the girl in the seat next to me….she doesn’t look all that happy to be on the plane! I let it go for a while…but just before takeoff I ask her if she’s not a big fan of flying? Her response was not what I wanted to hear!

“No, flying is fine…I just don’t feel well!”

A few minutes later I get the questions nobody wants to hear….

“Does your seat have a barf bag? Mine doesn’t!”

I respond, quite quickly I may add, “Let’s find out!!!!”

She keeps telling me how embarrassed she is! I tell her it’s no problem. She says it again, I reassure her. Then a few minutes into the take off…it happens!

I never fully appreciated the little paperish bags they put in the seatback. Never, that is, until now!

When she got sick it was…well…sick. I usually don’t handle the sound of the act all that well. But, I had to cowboy up and take it like a man. Thank god it was only a 30 minute flight.

We touched down and I thought about giving her a barf bag for the road. Kind of a going away present! And being the eternal male that I am…I had already written my name and number on the bag! Then I saw her father and mother at the gate ready to pick her up. I decided that I should probably drop my attempt to do the same!

All in all it was a great trip. Better than I could have hoped for in some respects. Worse in others (lost about $200 on slots and such!!)

Now time to plan for my next trip to the desert…hopefully this time my “Gram Guru” Ryan can make the Magical Mystery Tour with me!

A full selection of photos from my trip can be viewed at:


www.flickr.com/photos/jameshields

All thoughts supported by Fact...unless I am too lazy to prove it.

Here I sit broken hearted, came to .......

Does anybody really know what time it is?

If I were a Carpenter...and you were a lady? Would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby? (kind of a lot of up front pressue if you ask me?)

Time...is on my side...yes it is. Except on days that I could really use an extra few minutes of sleep!

I found my thrill...on Blueberry Hill. (just goes to show that nicknames do evolve over time.... Incidently I found my thrill on S..... never mind)

Ever listen to the Manfred Mann cover of Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded by the light"?? Someone really needs to practice his pronunciation.....Wrapped up like a....what?? Listen to it...

If all the world's a stage....Where's my check for the production?

You can't always get what you want...you can't take it with you...Be careful of what you wish for... Seems like even if you get finally get it..someone will just take it from you...so why not skip a step and just take it from someone who already has it?

When the going gets tough....I usually like to take a nap.

Someone once tried to convince me that the Beatles never did any drugs.... My retort was..and I quote, "I am the Walrus...goo-goo-gojoob!"....your right...no drugs there. And Iron Butterfly intended on a 13 minute drum solo in the middle of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (or In the Garden of Eden--{pre drugs})

You are the sunshine of my life....is that what this burning sensation is...sunburn?

People are stupid...that's all I got on this one.

Stranger: "Could you believe it when Paul McCartney covered Helter Skelter at last years Grammys?!!"
ME: Seriously...you know that's a Beatles Song?....
Stranger: "No way...Motley Crue totally recorded that on Shout at the Devil."
ME: "Yeah, Motley Crue would never cover the Beatles...(I show dumb ass the Beatles actually sang it first)
Stranger; "Well...that can't be the same song..."

Random Python Quotes:

"I like traffic Lights, I like Traffic lights"

"And now a massage from the Swedish Prime Minister"

"There's a dead bishop on the landing!!"

"Oh, come on...it's wafer thin!'"

"I'm not the saviour!"

"Is there something funny about my friend...Biggus Dickus?"

Kevin Smith Quotes to build a life philosophy on:

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the customers."

"What you don't know about me you could just about fit in the Grand Fuckin' Canyon!"

...and never forget the power of the Stink Palm

"A small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies."

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year..

Or .... So they say.

I really love this time of year....holiday gift giving...holiday gift returning! Mostly I just love working retail (part time).

This time of the year makes for the best stories when you work in any service industry. Now, I won't name names...but some people just get funnier the more angry they become. So, as established a long long time ago...I work part time at a regional Best Buy store. For some stange reason I decided to answer a question from customer service in person the other day...there in lies my first mistake.

The question, which was legit, was about the recall by Nintendo on the straps of the Wii controllers. Hard to believe that this "lady" didn't want her 8 year old to throw his new toy through their tv. But, that wasn't the fun part. The fun part was when we noticed that her friend, who was with her, had gotten a call to pick up her Wii controller she ordered. She told her friend that the controllers were in...the other lady...who from this point on we will call Mandy (for simplicity) looked at her phone's caller id earlier and saw a call from Best Buy....she didn't answer the phone...when her friend told her that Best Buy called to tell her that the controller she had ordere was in.....Mandy just assumed that was the call in the morning had been about.

So....Mandy hops in the car with her friend...drives the "hours" to the store and waits in line to pick up her Wii accessory! Now's when it gets fun. Turns out that since she didn't answer the phone in the morning...we just moved on to the next person on the list (limited supply and all) so she didn't have anything in store! Now comes the Bitching!

She starts of by saying she is "very upset" (but she is still being civil) then when we tell her that if she had answered the phone in the morning she WOULD have what she wanted. At this point...all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden....she now wants us to give her one of the other sets that is in the back...you know those that were held for people who answered the phone...she also wants the store to pay for her gas to and from the store that day and the day she has to drive back to get the controllers...now Mandy's friend pipes in with "well, since we are all ALREADY mad may I add that I am really mad that who ever called my house told my son, who answered the phone, that the Wii controllers were in." funny how she goes from standing by to Pissed in no time flat. It would seem that since her friend is trying to get free shit...she wants in...now it seems we have "ruined Christmas for her baby boy!"

At this point they are both getting angry and I have officially lost intrest in the whole situation. Sadly I usually like dealing with tough customers....it seems my sarcasim goes right over most people's heads and is confused with genuine intrest! By the end of the 45 min of dealing with these two....I am ready to go back to the dumb questions of the department. That and I am ready to kiss the hands of all the women who work the customer service desk.

I came to realize that it is a hell of a lot easier to deal with pain-in-the-ass customers when you can just walk away from them and pretend to care about someone else. When you are stuck across the counter from someone....it's considereably harder to ditch them!

Then to really cap the day off....I thought someone stole my ipod right off of my belt. After dealing with Mandy and crew I finally took my lunch (thirty minutes late...which as a fat man...is a big deal!) While sitting on the couch I decided to check my pod for a song I was thinking of...I reached down to my belt...and...NOTHING!!

I checked the couch....NOTHING....ran to my truck...NOTHING...so I was pissed as you can guess. But, really what could I do...it was lost! So I just went back to work... I was in a pissy mood and started to kick shit around and just happened to kick a case for a cell phone accessory (that someone stole) under a table in the front of the department.

I violently pulled back the drop cloth on the table..and there was my pod...on the floor under the table. Now the funny part is that I know for a fact that I was only by the table for maybe 2 minutes at the start of my shift....so it sat there on the ground under the table for like 5 hours...any little shit could have snagged it. So, my Sunday night was eventful to say the least.

God I need a drink....thankfully that is all I plan to do this weekend!

Sometimes I just have to shake my head!!

Sometimes I have to share the dumb things I witness in life. This time around it is a quote from CNN news' radio broadcast a few minutes ago.

When talking about the F--k Hole who killed the girls in the Amish school...and I quote:

"He spoke of Suicide, in the suicide note he left."

The funny thing is that the reporter (or official giving statement...couldn't tell) said that like it was a shocking event....almost like...I couldn't believe that he would talk about killing himself...in
his SUICIDE NOTE!!!!!

Seriously...I think that sometimes people just don't think before they talk. I do the same thing...but really...just look at that phrase and tell me it's not one of the dumbest things ever...REALLY!!!!

Truck Update---Part 2

So...I am still walking the tightrope that is sharing a car with my parents. Nothing really wrecks your plans like being 27 and having to ask mom and dad to use the car! But, it could be a whole lot worse...I could have no car...or worse...a neon!

But, looks like my baby will be back home in a few days. The only hold up right now is that there was a probelm with my new bumper---it wasn't for my truck!

That combined with the fact that State Farm missed a part needing to be repaired means that I have to wait a few more days to get the truck back. Funny things is that the part they missed (with labor to install) cost like $1,600. Now I think that is a pretty big thing! Especially since it jumps my total damage to the truck to close to $6000....funny thing is that I think I only paid $11,200 for the damn thing!

Not bad! Hit a deer at 70+/- mph and do damage equal to half the value of your truck!!! Big F-ing deer!!!

That's all...thought I would share!!!

Random Thought...

Why does the law of cosmic disfunction dictate that you will get interested in an artist/event once you move far enough away that it is not practical for you to just go and visit...

I say this since I have recently become obsessed with the music of Gram Parsons.

In the process of becoming a fan it dawned on me that the shrine to his life/death is located in Joshua Tree, California.

Now I haven't checked to see how close it would have been for me to head over there from Burbank (where I lived) but I know it is a hell of a lot closer than Illinois!

So, I guess next summer, when I am hanging in Arizona, I will have to borrow the car and make the 6-10 hour drive!

Just thought I would add that!

Truck Update...

So I finally got word on the damage done to my truck!!! Seems the State Farm claims adjuster had a chance to look things over...and the final total is $4,209.64.

The funny part of the paperwork is that the info they sent me said that I wrecked a 2003 Green Lexus...not a 2003 Dodge Dakota! Now if Jones Body and Frame can come through and "pimp" my truck into a Lexus!!

Turns out they sent the wrong paperwork...really...you don't say! (I know!!! Hard to believe!)

So now that the paperwork is in...I should have my loverly truck back in a week or so! I just want to be able to listen to my ipod in the car again! I have a ton of new Gram Parsons tunes that need to be rocked out in the truck!!!

Me-- 2 Deer-- 0

Oops...I did it again!

Seems that Karma has decided to kick me in the ass again...I finally get a new car...That I am paying for..and what happens? The day before my first payment clears...I Hit A Freakin' Deer!

What makes the situation really strange is that I hit said deer in almost the same place that I bagged another one almost 10 years ago...That time it was prom night...coming back from Post Prom with my then girlfriend Sara...and we hit a deer...being that I didn't have a cell at the time we had to walk into town and wake my parents!

This time I was lucky enough to not have one cell..but two (you know...incase things got crazy!) The first time it was a Chevy Blazer...this time a Dodge Dakota! Thank god this wasn't last month when I was still driving my 1997 Dodge Stratus...that would have been ugly.

Things could have been worse though...as I was walking around my car I thought I stepped on a rock...or part of the deer! Instead of kicking it into the highway...I used the light from my cell to see what I was standing on************turns out it was my ipod! So that could have sucked more.

The State Trooper (Monica) was great...we had a few laughs...I couldn't believe I hit ANOTHER deer...she was lost since she wasn't in her own district..so there was a learning curve with the software she was using to file the report! All in all the situation could have been worse...but it still sucked pretty bad! I am fine...just a bit of a headache and some nausea...may go to the doctor on Monday if it keeps up!

But, here is what you have been waiting for...MORE PICTURES!!!

The Drunkest Night Of My Life...and Similar Nights

A long time ago...well, does circa 1998-1999 count as a long time ago? If it does this is the story of the drunkest night of my life.....Complete with Pictures!

Let me start by saying that I in no way advocate underage drinking (anymore) or binge drinking!

So, in general, "condo" parties were the best of times I guess there is something to be said for having friends who had a 28 year old roommate!...skipping ahead, drinking games are fun...but dangerous. That by the way is the moral of the story I am about to lay before you in short form (with pictures...not all of which were from the night in question).

Parties usually involved 20-30 people (Most of who know each other) many of who are, or were, dating someone at the party at the time, hangin out for hours on end..drinking...doing other things...drinking.

This specific night I started out with the following:


So needless to say a bottle later and I was in no shape to do anything...but that didn't mean that I did nothing. It was at this point that a certain friend decided to introduce me to a new, and he said "very easy" drinking game. One that should only take a few attempts at most to master.

Enter this man: (don't piss him off or he will lick your face...story for another time!)


Now this photo was taken at the end of the "Cardinal" process...but before the major excitement of the night. Ben tells me now that I acutally passed the game earlier....but he was feeling particularly Evil!....

Basically, I think he just wanted to see if I would stop...but I say quitting is for..well...quitters. After finishing the process I thought nothing was wrong. That was until I tried to jump down from sitting on the railing of the deck. It turns out that there was a thin layer of ice on the wood....which is what caused me to slip and slide head first through the window beside the sliding glass door: (notice the fine quick fix of plastic wrap and duct tape!)



But, since this picture is of the "morning after" I need to step back for a moment and fill in a little of what happend between my grand entrance and waking up the next morning. This is where if you have ever drank with me...or my buddy Chris...you may have heard of the main event of the evening. Strangly...it wasn't going head first through a double pane window!

After taking out the window I passed out on the couch...I don't know how long I was out, but I remember how I woke up! And so does everyone who was at the party!!! Here are the main words of the story...

PROJECTILE VOMIT

I guess I have come to terms with this story...hence the reason I am sharing it with the world....Chris has shared it with enough people that I guess eveyone else should know.

To spare the gorey details here are the events in seven easy steps:

1) I vomit so hard that it hits the opposite wall (a good 12 feet so I am told)
2) People scatter--FAST
3) I get placed in the shower (Still Dressed)
4) People yell...laugh...Andy and Rachel sit outside the door and try to decide if I don't talk back how soon they should kick in the door and have Andy (always good to have and EMT at parties) "clear my airways"!!
5) Wake up...regret the evening...forget for close to 10 years about who actually witnessed the saddest night of your life...
6) Thank God that those who were there still consider you a Friend...
7) Know they will never let you forget the night

So that's it...now here are a few other pictures from that night and nights like it!

Still one of my favorie pictures I've ever taken!!!
The more things change...the more they stay the same!!!

Beer...beer...beer, said the Private!!!---

What is the best way to enjoy a St. Louis Cardinals Game???? Drunk with friends of course!!

Sadly, me being drunk means that there isn't that much in the way of photographic proof from the event. Which is kinda sad, since I bought my digital camera earlier this year I did so with the thought in mind that I would take tons of pictures whenever I go out. Especially to games and parties...but...strange enough, when I start drinking I forget to take photos.

But, fear not...there are some photos...

Ceramic Squirrel...has child..

So a month or so back I wrote about my poor pet squirrel who was rescued from a life of pain and suffering...well, it turns out he has a kid...TJ (Tadihito Jr.) Tadihito decided to be a good absentee father and send his son to vegas in an effort to win back years of neglect...here is a selection of photos from the trip.
Pool side at the Venetian...

Still hanging at the Venetian...
Mime is such a dirty word..I like to think of this guy as a "living statue" and let me tell you.....this guy almost broke character when asked to "hold my squirrel"
Hoover Dam, took the Dam Tour, asked Dam Questions, had a damn good time.
NASCAR it's not just a people sport!
More Dam Photos
Never said I was one to follow rules...if dad had been around this picture wouldn't be a surprise to him...



I don't care what you say...I love Celine Dion and she love me!!
Hard to believe that Arizona has mountains this small...or is it that I am soo big!??
"Grandama" Shields...my tour guide to all things Vegas.
Go ahead...call him a clown....he's a jester...and don't you forget it!!
I said no salt...no salt for my margaritta...I will take my coupons to a competing resort...if I could find one in Vegas.

My Dane Cook Moment

So I am standing around the Best Buy the other day, I would say I was "working" but there really wasn't a whole hell of a lot to do. It finally happened I had a moment that was straight (well kinda) out of Dane's routine.

I saw out of the corner of my eye a guy pushing a TV on his cart at a good speed....I turned my head slightly to the right only to see a younger individual getting ready to run out into the path of the man with the TV.
Part of me wanted to say lookout you're going to get hit by a tv!!!!!!!! But all that came out was ooohhhh!!!!!!!!!!....(hand outstreatched!!!) and sure enough the two met at the perfect spot...

TV cart+ hitting young man=young man FLIPS

The only downside was the fact that the kids shoes stayed on! Fuck Shoes! If they had flown off I think I may have died. That was by far, and without a doubt, THE most entertaining thing I have ever seen at Best Buy.

NASCAR's Worst Nightmare

I know this isn't original..but I have a steaming haterd of NASCAR at this exact moment of my life and decided to express it through the oldest of NASCAR jokes.

Attack of the Ceramic Squirrel

There are two people I would like to introduce you to at this point...The first is my friend Rachel, the second is our "Pet" Tadihito the Squirrel!

I won't say where we "liberated" Tadihito from. Just know that he is now in a loving home. Hopefully we will be able to find a companion for him in the near future!

But...I am thinking that the little guy will get some good travel time this summer. Not
"roaming gnome" miles .. but still travel time. So be on the lookout for more "family" photos.

Another artist you need to know about.

If you are a hardcore glam rock fan you may have run across the band I am about to talk about. But, if you have never gotten into the glam scene from the early 70's...now is a good time to start. The essentials are of course Bowie, Marc Bolan & T.Rex, Slade, Sweet and more....

Many of the major "glam" acts crossed the pond to take over America but, there were a handful of homegrown acts that could have been huge if it hadn't been for the sudden and sweeping impact of acts like David Bowie. The band that I am currently infatuated with is Silverhead.


This is a band that never really took off in the states...but were Worshiped as Glam Gods in Japan! The only problem with getting hooked on this band is there are only two studio albums and one live album to get you by! The first of which is the selftitled "Silverhead" album.

In my opinion the best of the two albums, the second album being "16 and Savaged". The best cuts off the debut album are without a doubt: Johnny, a slow ballad of the death of a troubled youth; Ace Supreme, never before has a motorcycle metaphore been so full of sex; Silverhead Boogie, clocking in at under a minute...still full of fun.

The follow up, "16 and Savaged" while a solid album was an attempt by the band to turn in a radio friendly album, while still keeping their edge. Sadly, the album was too edgy for radio and not edgy enough for the hard core fans. An example of this is found in my favorite track on the album, "More Than Your Mouth Can Hold" With lyrics like, "You said that I was small... how I've grown up, a big boy...now I'm more than your mouth can hold." It is no shock that radio didn't take a shining to the album.

After Silverhead broke up lead singer Michael Des Barres went on to front a band called Detective, and then breifly replaced Robert Palmer as the lead singer for Power Station. He never officially recorded with the group. But, one of his first gigs with Power Station was Live Aid (1985).

Bassist Nigel Harrion would fair a little better as he would go on to play for a little band called Blondie.

Des Barres has since filled his time with acting. Some people dismiss him as an actor but I personally think that he played one of the greatest on screen villians....EVER!! MacGyver's arch nemesis...Murdoc.

I was shocked when I found that out...seems I've been a Des Barres fan for a long long time.

That being said...if you get a chance to pick up a copy of either "Silverhead" or "16 and Savaged" and you are a fan of groups like The New York Dolls, or T.Rex...you may find that you have a fine new addition to your cd/ipod collection.

Contentment!

Love Monkey returned to VH1 last night...I am happy.. that is all. Amiee Mann performed...Paul Shaffer had a guest spot.. and a funny one at that...all is right with the world. Atleast for the next five weeks.



On a side note to Greymatter...if you stop by I will have your copy of the show to you asap.....as I know you have forsaken cable (forsaken....decided it was better to buy food/pay for rent...you decide).

Love Monkey returns tonight! (or actually right now!)

Love Monkey makes its return .... RIGHT NOW!!! to VH1. This is getting out a little late, and I am sorry for that. But, here is the important news...

VH1 tonight is running the first three episodes of Love Monkey back-to-back-to-back. Then starting next week we get the five episodes that were shot but not aired.

So set your DVR, VCR, TiVo device!

As for the hope that VH1 will order new episodes??? Not going to happen (I am sad!) it seems that Tom Cavanaugh has a new pilot in the works.

Bands you need to know about...Part 1

The first artist that I would like to profile here is, in my opinion, poised to explode. The artist I speak of is Rocco DeLuca & the Burden.

I picked up the album after watching, of all people, Keifer Sutherland on the Late Show with Craig Ferguson. This album represents the first release from Sutherland and partner Jude Cole's Ironwoks Music. www.ironworksmusic.com

Usually I like to hear atleast one song off an album before I drop the cash. But, in this case, listening to Sutherland speak about DeLuca with such passion made me think that there may be something to this new artist.

Once the album was released I found myself driving around listening to it non-stop. A quote on the ironworks site says, "Rocco's sound naturally emerged as a soulful combination of blues and rock with honest, vulnerable lyrics backed with an unsurpassed inner strength." This quote is a perfect summation of the album.

Songs like "Gift", "Gravitate", and "Soul" all speak to the listener. Rocco's voice is strong yet gentle at the same time. I say that with no reservation. I usually shy away from male vocalists for one reason or another. But, Rocco has something that makes me keep hitting the play button my my car cd player, home cd player, and ipod!

For an album purchased soley on the TV talk show recomendation of a favoirte actor...I was shocked. From start to finish a soild album with soul and heart.

If you haven't heard Rocco DeLuca and the Burden...take my advice, pick up the album...listen... love...then tell all your friends about the great artis you "found" and see if they don't agree that you are a genuis for the find.

New Favorite Site.

Looking for a new T-Shirt? My new favorite site on the web for rock/fun shirts featuring such killer slogans as the one to the left... "When the Monkey is High...You do not Stare"

The site you are looking for is www.djtees.com

I just ordered my Marc Bolan & T. Rex shirt and I can't wait for it to arive...

You will have to do basic math skills as all prices are listed in pounds...but if that's your only problem..deal with it.

I got your Love Monkey RIGHT HERE (VH1)

VH1 Rocks...

Well, for now Love Monkey has a home. VH1 has announced that starting in April it will run all 8 episodes of the Critically Acclaimed (viewer deprived) former CBS show.

Currently there are no plans to put the show back into production...but..I can dream. The good news is that there are five more shows for me to watch...love...then download to my ipod video!

Teachers, Next on the Cancelled list?

For the most part Teachers, the new NBC sitcom, is getting failing grades. (god I don't believe I actually used that line!) But, I think the pilot showed great promise.

Unlike the last BBC import that NBC butchered (Coupling) I don't have a history with this show. I hear great things about the original..and currently have it on my amazon.co.uk wish list! But, this time I nothing to compare the show against. Which may be a good thing.

I found the pilot to be very, very funny. Both my parents are teachers, and from time to time I do some sub work at my old high school, those facts made some of the sublte moments funnier to me. Not that I know any teachers who play golf in the school, or drink beer in class... atleast none that will admit to it! I still think the show was funny.

People, and by that I am talking about "critics" need to lighten up and have fun with a show. For God sake Joey lasted into a second season!!

According to Sid Smith the "arts critic" for the Chicago Tribune, "New sitcoms routinely suffer from a trickle of so-so laughs, with the occasional real chuckle. This one manages an entire half-hour without a single viable joke." I disagree...maybe it is my lowbrow humor speaking. Or maybe I just don't know what is funny. But, I laughed from start to finish.

The writing is good...not great..but good. I think given a chance the writing will catch up with what makes the show work...the cast. Now I may be partial here..but Justin Bartha and Sara Alexander are hilarious.

When I head that Alexander was going to be on the show...I almost died. If you have never seen this funny, talented, stunningly beautiful woman in action I suggest you head out to your local video retailer and pick up any season of the original BBC sitcom "Coupling"...either that or turn on BBC America and try to find a rerun of that or Green Wing. She has the looks and a great comedic timing!

Bartha has been a favorite of mine since...I don't beleive I am going to admit to seeing this movie...Gigli. There it is out in the open...I saw Gigli. Not in the theater mind you...for free on HBO...kinda like rubber necking an accident...you have to look, even if you don't want to. But, he and Alexander carry the show...given time I think it will turn out to be a good "quirky" sitcom.

As I said...given a chance....it will be a funny show week in and week out. Or not given a chance it will give me one more reason to hate network tv. Thank God FX is turning out great shows....caught the premier of Theif tonight also...but that is a different story.

ipod playlist of the day!

I felt the need to play with the blog today....
late nights at the radio station will have that effect
Is it strange that I choose to listen to my ipod at a time like this
rather than watch the Illini play ball?
That being said I felt the need to share my current "Oldies" mix





Marrakesh Express - Crosby, Stills & Nash (Crosby, Stills & Nash)
Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills & Nash (Daylight Again)
The Christian Life - The Byrds (Sweetheart of the Rodeo)
Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 - Bob Dylan (Blonde on Blonde)
Visions of Johanna - Bob Dylan (Blonde on Blonde)
Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan (Greatest Hits)
Piece of My Heart - Big Brother and Holding Co. (Cheap Thrills)
Happiness is a Warm Gun - Beatles (White Album)
Rocky Racoon - Beatles (White Album)
Walk on the Wild Side - Lou Reed (Platinum and Gold Collection)
Satellite of Love - Lou Reed (Velvet Goldmine Soundtrack)
Some Guys Have all the Luck - Robert Palmer (Very Best of)
Louie, Louie- Paul Revere and the Raiders (Legend of Paul Revere)
Kicks - Paul Revere and the Raiders (Legend of Paul Revere)
Indian Reservation - Paul Revere and the Raiders (Legend of Paul Revere)
Some Like it Hot - Power Station (Very Best of Robert Palmer)
Don't Give up on us Baby - David Soul (Have A Nice Day Time Life Series)
She's Not There - The Zombies (Absolutely the Best)
Lola - The Kinks (The Kink Kronikles)
If you could read my mind now - Gordon Lightfoot (Greatest Hits)
Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie (Best of Bowie)
Incense & Peppermints - Strawberry Alarmclock (Time Life best of 1967)
Horse with No Name - America (America)
Beast of Burden - Rolling Stones (Fourty Licks)
Maggie May - Rod Stewart (Greatest Hits)
Jackie Blue - Ozark Mountain Daredevils (Have a Nice Day series)
Signs - Five Man Electrical Band (Have a Nice Day Series)
Anarchy in the U.K - Sex Pistols
Aqualung - Jethro Tull
Blitzkrieg Bop - Ramones
Jesus is just alright with me - Doobie Brothers
Rock Lobster - B52's
Space Oddity - David Bowie (Best of Bowie)
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads
The Night Chicago Died - Paper Lace (Have a Nice Day Series)
Ticket to Ride - Beatles (Help!)
Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport - Dan Spencer (COOEE)
Tiny Dancer - Elton John (1970-2002)
Toad - Cream (Those were the Days box Set)
Tobacco Road (Remix) - Paul Revere and the Raiders (Legend of Paul Revere)
Two out of three ain't Bad - Meatloag (Bat out of Hell)
Under Pressure - David Bowie (Best of Bowie)
Vicious - Lou Reed (Platinum & Gold Collection)
The Guitar Man - Bread
One Tin Soldier (The Legend of Billy Jack) - Coven
Dude (looks like a lady) - Aerosmith (Big Ones)


OK, so at close to fifty songs....maybe the list ran a bit long...but like I said. I needed somethig to do!

Mission Accomplished.....see a song I left off? Let me know!

CBS Spanks "Monkey"

You ever have one of those days where you sit down and start to watch a tv show that you recorded and say to yourself...."I can't wait for next weeks episode!"? Only to have a little voice in the back of your head go NOT SO FAST!!?

This seems to be the TV season of my discontent! Things started off on a down note when FX Cancelled "Over There" and "Starved" after season one. Now "Starved" was an acquired taste..sorry for the bad pun. But, Over there was nothing short of brilliant. The only good thing was the fact that FX allowed those shows to finish their respective seasons.

Then we move our attention to FOX (Bastard Wasteland of Cancelled Shows) I was really starting to get into "The Inside". Great cast...sort of an x-files meets Silence of the Lambs thing going on. But, just when I was getting excited...Canned. But, Fox hooked me again a few months later with Killer Instinct. Again...fun cast, good writing/acting....canned after six (or seven) episodes.

Now we move on to another show that I was really excited about. The CBS drama "Love Monkey"




No sooner had I lent out my copy of the first three episodes to a friend who is a music junkie....CBS puts the show "on hiatus" meaning DEAD IS DEAD!

Why do the words critically acclaimed not translate into a chance to find its audience? Sure the numbers dropped from like 8.9 million viewers in week one down to 5.4 million in week three....still...over 5 million people were watching the show. Not every show can deliver the numbers that the lowest common denominator on TV "American idol" has. Don't get me wrong Idol has it's place on TV....14 year old girls need something to watch on a week night!

My question is who has a shorter attention span now? The American Public? or the networks themselves? I hate to see good television disappear from the lineup and be replaced with Reality TV...(god I think I threw up in my mouth saying that!) Amazing Race.....Dancing/Skating with the Stars (and can you really use the term Stars???) And now comes word that NBC will have it's own version of "Eurosong" (think American Idol where you have to come up with the song and the music...and perform it) which has been running on European TV for something like 40 years.

While we are on the subject....why is it that I have no problem watching a quality show on the BBC...then the US version comes out and it sucks! Think Coupling, The Office....(say what you want about the office being funny...the British version is ten times better.)

If it wasn't for a hand full of shows on TV now: 24, The Shield, Rescue Me, How I Met Your Mother, NCIS, E-Ring. Along with the promise of a few new shows: The Unit, Thief, and one or two others....I think I may have switched over to BBC 4 by now!

All in all I think the canning of Love Monkey hurts the most since I had gotten a small group of friends hooked on it after episode one. But, the axe hasn't fallen for sure....I can only hope that CBS takes a good long look at their decision and if worst comes to worst just airs the final five episodes they ordered or, being the money hungry Whores they are, throws them out on DVD.

We shall see. For now all I can do is Bitch and moan and groan....and believe me I have...and will keep on Bitching!

The Real Superbowl winner!!!

Watching the Superbowl last night I couldn't help but think....Why am I wasting my time watching a game between two teams I don't care about? Is it the love of the game? Did I have money, or pride, riding on the outcome (yes and no)?? The more I thought about it the more I realized that during a game like this there is one bright spot...the winners and losers of superbowl commercials.

Here is my short list:

Worst Spots:

5. Monster.com (the monkey ads)...I was starting to think that they were just running the same spots as last year!
4. Pizza Hut...Jessica Simpson....Jessica Jessica Jessica...was the break up so bad that you actually thought this spot was going to be funny? Did you need work so bad that you jumped at the first offer after Nick packed his bags? On the bright side I hated it just slightly less than the winner that clocks in at number one!
3. Bud Light (hey all twelve spots can't be jems)... The rotating wall spot. Kinda made me wish for the wassup guys!
2. Any local spot that got shoved in at halftime...talk about your commercial let downs
and the Winner for WORST SUPERBOWL SPOT>>>>>
1. Burger King. Talk about starting the show off with a stinker...Now I am sure that those dancers trained real hard..but come on WTF!!!!!

Winners
5. Fed Ex... Loved the Caveman spot..Still not as good as the test pattern ad of a few years ago. But, I laughed real hard.
4. Alieve....Leonard Nemoy spot....got to love a guy who doesn't take himself too seriously. Trekkies around the world breath a little easier knowing that the Vulcan hand sign is still going strong. Nothing is as gruesome as a Star Trek Convention riot!
3. Sprint...the first spot where the guy hits his friend in the face with the phone, twice. Nothing is more fun to watch during a superbowl ad then senseless cell phone violence.
2. Budweiser....Return of the football playing horses..with a twist....STREAKER! best line, "oh, I didn't need to see that."

And my Pick for Favorite:
Three little letter RDA



MasterCard Gets my nod for the best spot. This spot saved a fourth quarter of worthless spots. Loved the fact that Richard Dean Anderson was able to bring back the ever loved ever bashed character of MacGyver. If you missed the spot here is the link to watch it online.

http://www.priceless.com/film/worldpremiere.html

Honorable/Dishonorable mention: I was disappointed in the Emerald Nuts spot...and most of the car commercials. Heff and the Playboy bunnies along with Shaq and Tony Hawk for Desperate Housewives???? I must say that I did enjoy vast majority of the Bud spots, and the Fidelity spot in the hospital was pretty funny too. All in all it was a down year for the spots...kinda makes me hope for a second season of "Terry Tate Office Linebacker" during next years big game.

I NEED HELP....24 season 5

If you should stumble accross this and feel the need to help a poor soul...now is your chance. My god forsaken DVR didn't tape tonights episode of 24. I am looking for a site that has as good torrent of the episode...or any way to download the episode. Help me obi-wan Kenobi...your my only hope!!

Vic and Jack are Back...and I'm in love!

Well, the days I have waited for have come and gone...the two best shows on TV are back and in full swing. 24 and The Shield have both started and I really don't know how I found a way to live without them!

Jack and Vic...two of the best characters on the Tube are now on back-to-back nights. (Monday/Tuesday respectively) I would like to think that I actually "followed" a show during the down time between seasons....and oh what a down time it has been. But, really all other shows were just place holders for these two.

There is an upside and a downside!!! Upside they are back and 24 is new every week until the season is over....Downside...there are only 11 episodes of The Shield for this season. I blame the BBC for the short season idea. Over there a long season is maybe 14 episodes. But then again, season one of the comedy Coupling was only seven episodes (it ran for four seasons and I don't think it even hit the 22 episode mark). But, as long as we get a quality 11 episodes I can deal with the shortness of the season. Hell, atleast I don't have to wait for two years between seasons like you poor bastards who watch the Sopranos!

As for 24...Finally a show that delivers on it's "Don't miss the first 10 minutes" promo tag. Most times that is just a ploy to pull in new viewers. But, in this case and I am guessing that everyone has seen the first four hours....first 10 minutes included!!



Killing Palmer, Michelle,and possibly Tony....all in the first ten minutes was a shock. Then having Jack kill the assassin before the first portion is over....this all sets the tone for what I can only assume is going to be one of the best non-stop seasons yet.

So far I like the addition of Sean Astin to the cast...can't feel him out quite yet. But, I loved him when he was on the second season of Jeremiah (another of my favorites....Cancelled by showtime...BASTARDS!). Now the only downside to 24 is the fact that after two nights and four hours I have to be a good little soldier and wait a week for my one hour.

It got me thinking....and that's a dangerous thing!

I have found that one of the single greatest forms of entertainment is covering local political meetings. No, really! I have recently gotten out of the studio at the radio station I work for and into the field...of journalism. Not that I have stopped with the on air role...actually haven't changed that at all...but I digress.

Covering local meetings makes me realize one thing. I have no ambition at this point in life to get involved with the democratic process. Take that as you will. But, I really have no interest in making any kind of a decision on the day to day running of anything! Frankly, I think the world is a little safer for it!

I mean really, I have a hard time deciding what movie to watch, what to eat for dinner, what "clean" shirt to wear! Do you really want me deciding how your tax money is spent?

I bring this up only because I have found myself covering no less than three county/city/school board meetings over the last four days. Which got me thinking.... Danger!!! Danger!!!!

I seem to remember that, as a child, my uncle had an astrologer "read me". Seems that kind lady saw a future in politics for me. Now I never took that much stock in such things...but, I was reading over the ten page "reading" she seems to have hit a few nails right on the head.

Now to the politics....I say that I have no interest, at this point, in getting involved in politics. Says the man with no political affiliation...who receives the Republican newsletter to get his weekly laugh!! But, I think that there may be a future there for me. Right now I think the main thing holding me back is the time commitment....and a total lack of interest. Caring should factor highly.

But, who knows, maybe in time I will get my head out of my proverbial ass and decide to do something meaningful with my life....if that day comes....look out local politics, I have all five season of the West Wing on DVD, along with the DVD of My Fellow Americans and a biography on John F. Kennedy..........what could go wrong?

Holiday Music..that doesn't make me want to kill myself!

So...with the holiday season upon us I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who is already totally sick of "holiday" music. Seeing as I work full time at a radio station...I may be a little more sick than the next guy. (Since I really can't change the channel)

To get me through this time of year I have a select number of holiday songs that I like to listen to over and over...here is a list of these songs:

Tori Amos--Have yourself a Merry little Christmas
Bing Crosby/David Bowie--Drummerboy/Peace on Earth, the good version...the one with all the television banter left in!!!! (thanks to greymatter, at thechampaignofblogs for this one)
Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds--The Christmas Song
The Kinks--Father Christmas (if you haven't heard this one...do so!!)
6pence none the richer--your a mean one, mr. grinch
Garth Brooks--The Gift
Garth Brooks--Go Tell it on the Mountain
any version of Baby, it's cold outside....Dean Martin, Hary Conick Jr., the version on the Elf soundtrack with Leon Redbone and the actress from the film...
The Normals--Oh Come, Oh Come....
Cheech and Chong--Santa and his old lady (not a song persay...but well worth a listen!)
Bob and Doug Makenzie--12 days of Christmas
Transiberian Orchestra--Christmas eve, sarajevo
Any and all Beatles X-mas songs...Feliz Navidad and Christmas Time is here again...
McCartney--Wonderful Christmas
Lennon/Ono--Happy Christmas (war is over)
Elton John--Step into Christmas
Jon Bon Jovi--Blue Christmas
Smashing Pumpkins--Christmastime

Those are just the tip of the iceberg....I am always looking for good contemporary Xmas songs.. Something to break up the rudolph's and frosty's of the world...Would love some input!

Random Music of the Day

Ever just sit down and start to listen to a cd you made maybe four or fives years ago? Or perhaps a mix tape? Do you just wonder what was going through your head when you made that cd/tape. I had such an experience today...

CD/Mix Tape:

The Heights--How do you talk to an Angel
Siagon Kicks--Love is on the Way
Boys II Men--Water Runs Dry
Garth Brook--The Dance
INXS--Devil Inside
Eagles--New Kid in Town
Tori Amos--China
Foo Fighters--Walking After You
Bush--Everything Zen
Ozzy--Crazy Train
Pink Floyd--Comfortably Numb
Rolling Stones--Sympathy for the Devil
Collective Soul--December
The Who--Behind Blue Eyes
Billy Idol--Cradle of Love
Live--Shit Town
Live--Lightning Crashes

To say that this tape was all over the place is an understatement. If I remember right I made this tape so I would have something to keep me awake when I worked third shift at a Bigfoot Amoco during college.