Elmo Gets Creepy(er)

Ok...so talking toys are now officially the creepiest thing ever! I alway thought that my G.I. Joe with Kung-Fu grip was the coolest thing ever...now I am sure of it.

While the weapons never fired...atleast they never expressed a wish to kill me.

This poor kid can't say the same thing about his Talking Elmo Doll.

Coming Soon to a Junior College near you....

Kelvin Sampson...LOL---Fucking D-bag! Can't say I'm sorry to see this happen. You would think that a guy would learn.

On the bright side, now some third rate math student who is playing ball on some Junior College team in bum fuck Kentucky (said with love since my family is orginally from Kentucky!) ..or better yet...some High School player will now get to say that they are coached by FORMER DIVISION I coach, Kelvin Sampson.


The worst part of this whole thing is that according to and ESPN.com story Sampson is still going to pocket $750,000 for getting fired! Must be nice. I think I need to get me one of those! By the way...your fired, we hate you...here's a ton of cash! Anyone who takes a chance on this tool and thinks they won't get burned...Good Luck.

Not even knowing the rules I think I could run a program with fewer NCAA Violation!

D-Bag of the Week

Some people look to Wednesday as a day to celebrate the near completion of the week. It's a time to look back on the first part of the week and look forward to the weekend!

I too choose to celebrate Wednesday. But for a totally different reason.

This is the time of the week where I like celebrate the: Morons, Idiots, Dip Shits, Tools, general Jackass' that society has served up on, usually, a silver platter.

This weeks D-Bag of the Week Award may or may not be a group award...we will have to wait until he/they are caught.

And the winner is?

They only thing wrong with this story is that the person hasn't been caught yet...hopefully when it happens it will be because they fell in an open grave and broke their neck....kinda like the guy who were electrocuted trying to steal copper wiring from a power station...that was...you know, generating POWER.

You just can't feel sorry for those guys!

Hello Kitty...is that an AK-47 In Your Pocket?

Saw this story on CNN.com and thought wow...now that is strange.

Seems that Jim's Gun Shop, in Baraboo, WI (slogan..."I'll Get You Loaded") is getting a little heat for thier custom paint jobs they are applying to weapons.

Now I have alway thought that there are very few things in this world that should be mutually exclusive....but this thought never crossed my mind....

HELLO KITTY and an AK-47 Assault Rifle

Having a sister who is in law enforcement has made me look long and hard at issues like this...in the past I would have said that you should be able to tell the difference between a plastic toy and an honest to god weapon.

But, looking at this picture..it id hard to tell with all the plastic dura-coat painting!

While I do support everyone's right to bear arms...who the hell needs an Assualt rifle sitting around the house? Unless you are living in the deserts....of Iraq...the answer is NO ONE.

The Many Sides of Lindsay Lohan

Seems that over the last few years we have seen a lot of different "sides" of Lindsay Lohan...Let's Recap shall we?

There's the Happy Lohan...

She Love the attention....plays nice with the Photogs. Generally a pleasure to be around!

The Awards Show Lohan....

Pretty to look at and usually reserved. No Drama here!

But that's not the end of the cycle for this years LiLo....

Let's not forget two of the more public sides from the last year. They include, the convict...

and who could forget my favorite part of the last fasion season, the no panties look.

Now though we have stepped into yet another look for Lindsay...and I must say that I didn't think she could pull it off. But, if the proof is in the photos....then I think this new look is a winner.

Linsay has posed naked recreating the now famous Marilyn Monroe session called, "The Last Sitting".

The photos are classy and in my opinion a great way to get some headlines...with out having a drink, getting arrested, being in court...etc!!

Proof...

That white guys can't dance...but sometimes they can shake their ass on a bar with a hot bar tender!

Best Show I've Never Seen...

So I got talking with my cousin the other day who was speaking on the greatness that is his new HD TV....and with that tv the fantastic HD channels.

One channel in particular was among his favorites...MOJO HD. It was at this point that he told me about a little show called Three Sheets.

It seems that the whole point of the show is taking the host, Zane Lamprey, and letting him get drunk in all different locations!

Sounds like a brilliant idea for a Show if I have ever heard of one! Kind of like one of the many shows on the food network where guys go around eating food all over the country/world. But, in drink form.

Now all I have to do is get an HDTV to truely enjoy this show...for now I will have to survive on youtube clips!

Just another Tequila Suicide...

The Eagles had it wrong...the Tequila Sunrise ain't Nothing...Now if you want to have some fun...mix yourself up a Tequila Suicide.

Really it's just a Tequila shot with a twist....

You need Tequila, Salt, Lime.... Lick Finger apply Salt then here you go....SNORT the Salt, Drink the Tequila, squirt the Lime in your EYE. Sounds horrible doesn't it?

Well, while I didn't have it in me to do one myself this weekend...our venerable bachelor got him one... Need the poof? Here it is....

drunk..:this.l is all!!! Not really sure if this means any thing..... But, word!

Party like some poor sap is getting hitched.

so here in sit... Most of my money has been wasted on the beverage of choice for this shin dig... Beer!! Not only ddlid we load up prior to getting into the room, but we are rocking it "high school" style.

For those of you who weren't in high school back in the late 90's you may or may not know the joy of Red Dog Beer and Icehouse. Cheap ass beer at it's finest.

The one thing that did throw me for a loop was the fact you can't buy beer and hard liquor in the same location!! Made the trip for the bottle of cognac an adventure. Got to meet the Nashville police chief.....and hear the counter worker call another dude a fucking d-bag. So that was fun.

Still all day today to plow through and an epic drive home! More to come.

I love Wired.com

Thank you Wired....thank you for the strangest story/photo I have seen all day!

Happy Valentine's Day World!!

Happy Valentine's Day

Here is a happy little card inspired (totally stolen!) from British comedian Jimmy Carr and his hilarious stage show.

All out of Love....

Seems that amourous kids in Thailand are going to have to do their Valentine's Day "pre-celebrating" in places other than: Parks, Resturants, Malls, and Motels! I guess they will have to stick to getting hot and heavy at home!

Now I am trying to remember back to the days when a little PDA was nothing...but I can't think of a time where the cops my have had to be called in to break up the action before it went to far! Or can I .... Bed of Roses wasn't that good a movie anyway... uh...NeverMind....

According to a story from Reuters:

"Thailand's moral guardians are taking action after an Assumption University poll showed 27 percent of 2,400 Bangkok teenagers surveyed said they might have sex on Wednesday."

For the math challenged in the group thats 648 Thai kids (out of 2,400) who said they would celebrate the day of lust....errr....love with a little good old fashioned S-E-X.

Nothing really funny here...just thought I would share the love.

D-Bag of the Week...

I stumbled across this story last week that made me think...that would be a good weekly award winner!

But, part of me also thought that I could do better, turns out that as of now I am going to have to go with:

Brisbane, Australia resident Geoffrey Martin Fryatt

This week though I am going to have to give out a honary award to: Kingsley Ulame .... His excuse for not being able to "perform" wins an award for creativity...and is just a notch away from making him the biggest D-Bag I found in the past week ("theft" actually happened back in October of last year)

Televised Reality Curling? Really!!!

To quote the great Jim Rome, "Just because you are good at something doesn't make it a sport!"

I fall back on that phrase every time I see the sports of:

Competitive Eating
Cup Stacking
Double Dutch (granted I would die trying this one)
That one gymnastics event with the ribbons....just not sure about that one!
and my favorite CURLING

Now it seems that the demand for televised curling has risen so high that NBC is thinking of adding a Curling show to it's stable of "reality" shows.


I am trying to think of a time when curling was something I actually cared about? Is there actually a time during the year when there is no Football, Baseball, Basketball, or (god forbid) Hockey? I think it is safe to say that, since I am not Canadian (or retarded) curling is nothing more than Men with Brooms.



There you go....the only time I ever cared about Curling! The Paul Gross movie....Men With Brooms.

Proof that Canadians have humor! God I miss Due South!!

Now, back on topic...NBC is thinking of bringing a reality show to the masses about a sport that very few care about (in my opinion)! Who knows maybe there are teens in the slums and ghetto's of this great nation who are thinking to themselves, "If only I had a chance to show what a kick ass Curling Guy (sorry don't know the right term) I am....that's my chance to escape all this!"

According to the linked story about said show...NBC is banking on the draw of either Jon Bon Jovi or John Mellencamp to bring in the views. We all saw how well the Bon Jovi influence worked on the AFL tv ratings.

The other great idea here is Curling in HD..nothing like watching ice melt as you throw a...what the hell is that thing supposed to be anyway, down the track? lane? end?

Oh well! Curling is a strange "sport" I guess I have just never been so cold and bored that I ever thought about trying to do/watch it!

Embrace the Cheese...

I think it's times like this that the poor girls who work at Chuck-E-Cheese wish they had another job!

????

Just wanted to throw out this observation....

Am I the only one who looks a these previews and thinks:

"Who the hell sent Harry Potter to Narnia?"

D-Bag of the Week

In my pursuit of finding all thing wrong with the world I have sought out the one man (or woman) who I feel has captured the essence of what is wrong with America (or the world...who knows, I may branch out!)

This little award started last week with the guy who pretended to be Heath Ledgers Dad in an attempt to get free stuff from celebs.....and this weeks winner.......

Drum roll please!!

Kurt Havelock, of Tempe Arizona....read the story and then think to yourself, "maybe they were right not to give him a liquor license!!"

Clemens Getting Squeezed?

The Associated Press is reporting that former trainer, and Mitchell Report Stool Pigeon, Brian McNamee, has turned over evidence be believes will help support his claims of drug use by Roger Clemens...

It seems that for all these years the little drug dealer extrodinare has kept syringes and gauze pads he used while "reportedly" injecting The Rocket.

So I guess the real lesson to be learned here, if it's true, is that you should probably be injecting yourself with these Performance-enhancing drugs so that your dealer doesn't make a bundle, or a deal, based on the discarded medical equipment...

Other names....

The death of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi got me thinking of other "celebrities" I know...And by know I mean....when you say (BLANK) I say and? To qote the great Denis Leary, "Tito Jackson...yeah...what about him?"

Here is a short list of some of the "celebs" who are taking up valuable space in my brain:

Jermaine Jackson
Tito Jackson
Billy Baldwin
Daniel Baldwin
The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
Pete Doherty
Any wrestler from the Mid to late 90's