I Just had a Double Bypass...

And my review is up at Things JK Eats!

Things Joe Eats....

To get ready for a Guest spot on Things JK Eats ....

Seeing as JK has me "moving internal furniture" to make way for a monster from The Heart Attack Grill

For this experiment in food related journalism I decided to move in the direct opposite burger related direction.!

While the burgers at The Heart Attack Grill may be able to crush your skull (based on pictures) the only hazard the burgers I tried throw at you is choking! These tiny burgers aren't the tiny burgers you think...no sliders here...the culprit this time.

The BK Burger Shot

As you can see there is no tiny easy to grip box...this bad boy comes in an industrial strength container that called for BK to design a larger take out bag...one with handles! These tiny burgers are manly in every aspect. Except for the fact that they are really, well, small!

First impression when you open in the box is, "well..there sure are six of them. Just as advertised!"

First impressions are important..never judge a book (or burger) by its cover. Also, if I may digress for a moment..never make fun of a movie based on what you think it will be like...because you may end up loving it later and eating a big bowl of crow....


REPO! The Genetic Opera...a prime example...it rocks!! Go Buy it...buy the Soundtrack (currently available on itunes) see it in theatres, see it with friends, see it! See It! SEE IT!

But I digress....

I also got the impression that the crew at the "BK Lounge" wasn't all that into my late night order. as the above photo kinda shows...the just split the bun and dropped on some meat. The top six was one bun and the bottom part was the same. Granted there are directions on how to dismantle your burgers... Which, if you are going to sit down and eat, in a non driving type situation, isn't a problem. But, if you plan on trying to pull apart the buns "of steel" as you drive down the highway one of two things will happen:

1) you will crash and die, possibly taking others with you!
2) you will end up with two of the six burgers in your lap and on your shirt! (guess which happened to me!)

I must say that I did start off having a bit of a man crush on the burger pack. Mostly because I didn't fear the usual after effects of eating a certain competing mini burger en-masse.

White Castle has nothing to worry about from the BK doppleganger. The only real inprovement is that the burger tasts like...well, a burger. Packaging edge to the BK ( you don't have to order 20+ to get a big box/bag) taste...depends on preference...big edge in my book is that the BK shot doesn't hit the system quite as harsh as the slider. But, that may just be me!

So...on to the ratings!!

Texture: 10/10 (ranked against normal size BK burgers)
It's small, it's really small! But, it is just a mini BK burger. So if that is your thing...this one's for you.

Taste 10/10 (same as above)
It's just a mini BK burger...nothing lost nothing gained!...Sadly the two pickles on the patty were larger than the meat on two of my burgers.

overall 8/10
If you are looking for a smaller version of a larger BK burger...than look no further than the BK Burger Shot..if you are looking for a simple "slider" style burger these are nice (minus the fact that you need to concentrate on seperating each burger from their neighbor!

Long time coming...

Coming soon to a Things JK Eats blog near you...a thought provoking indepth look at....

THE HEART ATTACK GRILL

All I can say at this point is I'm Scared...and I am also really happy that I don't qualify for a free meal!

I will post a link here after the war has been waged and the proof is up on my favorite other blog site!

1000 Year old Duck Egg...Taste Test!

Taking a break from my move related blogging...

Thought I would share the greatest video making the rounds on the internet!

THINGS JK EATS

The 1000 Year old Duck Egg

only hours till the mystery is over.

so I am only hours away from finding out where my crazy ass friends are taking me for my going away festification!! I have no ideas so it should be interesting.

Oh, and coming on Monday...a series of pictures, of JK eating 1000 year old duck eggs! Mmmm....

Would you like fries with that?

Coming soon to a Things JK Eats Blog near you....I DARE YOU!! For the record this is the Burger King on North Prospect in Champaign, IL.

Tyler...you have to thank your Aunt (or whoever sent you this)!!

Gone, But Not Forgotten

Reading Things JK Eats the other day got me thinking about a few food/drink items from that past that I really miss...or maybe would just like to see one more time.

JK brought up the fact that we need a revival of the Taco Bell "Bacon Cheeseburger" Burrito. I would have to concur. Especially with the recent surge of Bacon related products. Just look at a Hardee's menu and you can get a Bacon Cheeseburger, Bacon Cheddar Fries, and most of the monster line has bacon.

Not since the Pork, "The other White Meat" ad campaign have I seen this much pig! But I will move on.......

First up in the Soda Category....Crystal Pepsi!! That's right...the greatest soda to ever disappear from the face of the earth is one that I would like to see get a revival!

Not really sure what it was that I loved about "the Clear Choice" but as long as I am not totally blocking out my childhood....this stuff was good!

If you don't believe me that we may have gotten rid of the cure for world hunger, the single greatest invention of the last 25 years....check out the commercial below and tell me I am wrong!

I dare you to find one fault with the below tv spot, great music, a naked baby, and the center piece, Crystal "MF" Pepsi.
P.S Youtube is great!

Now that you have seen the proof on my first choice for missing soda...the silver medal goes to another favorite from about 10 years ago....Surge .

Kinda of like the Vault of the mid 90's. Again not really sure why I liked this green pure sugar drink so much, maybe it was due to the fact that the gas station I worked for while at Illinois State never sold the stuff so when it went out of date....i got to take home CASES of the stuff. Free will always cloud one's judgment! I do think that the Surge formula was recently revived for the Simpson's Duff Energy Drink, but I may be wrong!

I would come up with the bronze medal winner but I really don't want to think about this all that much...so the fact that you can't find JOLT cola everywhere gives it the edge. (preference to Grape)

Food Category:

1st place Gold Medal- Taco Bell Bacon Cheeseburger Burrito (as mentioned above)

The genius of this little food item was that on those hard days when you couldn't choose between the drive thru at McDonald's or Taco Bell you could get the best of both worlds in one convenient location....a burrito. I won't elaborate but it was God Like in its goodness.

2nd Place Silver Medal - The KFC Chicken Little


Nothing beats a mini chicken patty sandwich. Just chicken and a dab of mayo made this little "for a limited time only" menu item stick around for YEARS. I do believe that the sandwich has now gone to college, dropped out, and returned to KFC as the Snacker!

After the time away the soft little sandwich man has grown up and gotten tough, coming back "crispy" and "spicy" depending on how you like that kind of thing.






3rd Place Bronze medal - McDLT

I think it is more the Environmentally "UN-friendly" package that I miss on this one...Remember when Styrofoam was the be all end all of food storage devices?

Keeps the cold side cold, and the hot side hot! Those were the day's it even marked which side was which...you know in case you were shocked to see that your meat was hot and your lettuce and such was cold!

I believe that the Big Mac came in a similar device for a time!...Those were the days!

The Problem with Society...Amazon?

I'm not really sure why this bothers me the way it does...but am I the only one who sees a problem with being able to order your groceries at the same place you can order a copy of the Bob Guccione classic Caligula?

But, if the eternal question burning in your life right now is how to obtain art house porn and a few pounds of coffee...Amazon is your new friend.

I am not really sure at what point in time the nexxus of the food and video world collided but I think that this may be one of the biblical signs of the apocalypse. Not sure if a plague of the insane was actually in the bible...but if anyone saw it coming!

I stumbled across this while reading the ads on Things JK Eats, I was shocked that if I felt the need to get a wholesale size box of Pop Tarts I could....but to make matters worse (depending on how you look at things) I could also have the order automatically re-upped every 1, 2, 3 or 6 months.

Now I like Pop Tarts as much as the next guy but, is it ever necessary to have 12 8count boxes on hand EVERY MONTH.

OK to re-up every month automatically:
Grandpa's heart Meds
....ok....any Medication
THAT'S ABOUT IT.... MEDICATION

Not necessary:
POP TARTS
GO-GERT
Dwight Yoakam's Chicken Lickin's Chicken Rings Afire (check out the previously mentioned Things JK Eats if you have doubts)

Again, not sure why this bothers me...but it does!!

Now if you want to buy a grilled cheese sandwich with the face of the Virgin Mary on it....that's another food story!