Give the Man a Donut (ring)

So, while it's not as bad as Felix Pie and his Twisted Testical....Kaz Matsui's injury reads a lot worse...

The Houston Chronicle reports that Kaz Matsui underwent surgery Monday to repair an anal fissure, and he's expected to open the season on the 15-day disabled list.

Thanks to Wikipedia: An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation. The tear usually extends from the anal opening and located posteriorly in the midline. This location is probably because of the relatively unsupported nature of the anal wall in that location.

So...Pie has his testicle sewn to the inner lining of his scrotum and he is going to miss five days. But, an "anal fissure" is two weeks! Now that I look back at the Wiki entry...gotta say...I still think I would rather have Testicular Torsion...

Sorry Man!

Sports Injuries

So my recent post on Felix Pie and his ... um ... unfortunate injury got me thinking of other "great' sports injuries.

Now we aren't talking about your line drives off the face, or fast balls to the balls (John Kruk aside...what a strange way to find out you have testicular cancer by the way). No here we are going to focus on the strange, the odd, the downright dumb ass reasons that some Pro Athletes have missed games.

Some of my personal favorites are:

Tigers Pitcher Joel Zumaya -- missed three post season games after straining his wrist playing a little too much Guitar Hero!

Sammy Sosa -- Missed a Sunday game with the Cubs due to a sneeze (granted it was more the back spasms that the sneeze brought on!)

Jeff Kent -- "Fell off his Truck"...actually pulling a Kellen Winslow. (Stunt riding his motorcycle in a parking lot!)

Adam Eaton -- Didn't know this one until I started looking on the net...seems he got himself a one way trip to the ER after stabbing himself in the abdomen...trying to open a DVD.

Gus Frerotte -- Missed playing time with a concussion...after he laid down a massive hit...on himself. Seems he was a little excited following a TD. Frerotte decided to celebrate a Washington Redskins TD by running head first (on purpose) into a wall at the back corner of the end zone! Brilliant!

back to baseball...

Clint Barmes -- During his rookie season with the Colordo Rockies he, fell down the stairs and broke his collarbone. At first he told the club he had a sack of food in his hands...what he really had was a slab of deer meat given to him by Todd Helton. Oops!

John Smoltz -- On of the greatest pitchers of all time... and maybe not that bright a bulb. He once burned himself while ironing a shirt. Apparently Smoltz was wearing the shirt at the time

For a list of these and other injuries check out:

ArmchairGM
Strange Sports

also check out the photo gallery tribute to Odd injuries at Sports Illustrated

Nuts!

Felix Pie....all I can say is, sorry man!

The Cubs center fielder is going to miss 3-5 days, according to a Chicago Tribune article.

The worst part is that it seems the injury that will keep him out for almost week is... gulp...

Testicular (balls) Torsion (twisted).

That's right, Pie will be out with a twisted testicle! Now, as my sister put it, how does one actually twist a testicle?

Oh, and I lied...the worst part is actually the "minor procedure" done to correct the issue.

Doctor's had to actually, "sew the outer layer of the testicle to the scrotum wall."

Again....Sorry!!