Bowties are cool...

"plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose" 

"the more it changes, the more it's the same thing"

--Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr

Why is it that the more we move forward...the more we tend to look back? As we tend to get new technology, better technology, the old will phase out and come back years later.
 
Case in point: Record stores are again selling vinyl records. Tapes (audio and video) have come and gone. 8-tracks = dead!. Even DVD has been replaced with HD-DVD (which died a swift death) and Bluray. So what's the fascination with something we were bitching about just a few years ago?
 
When VHS came out it was amazing. You could watch movies in your house! If you had a lot of money you could actually get a video cassette RECORDER allowing you to save your favorite TV shows to watch at a later date. After that amazing invention you had the hugely popular medium of Laser Disc.
 
Laser disc is what got me thinking about his topic. As I said recently I purchased a used Laser Disc player at the local Goodwill store and then went in search or movies to buy. I'm not going to go to crazy with purchases for this dead medium but I did get a few choice titles. 
 
Titles include: Under Siege, The Shadow, Naked Lunch, Flashback, Apollo 13, Star Wars: A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back.
 
While watching New Hope the other night I got thinking about how awesome it was to see in the original, kind of gritty, transfer. Plus, it wasn't messed with by George and the boys at Lucasfilm. At the same time I was enjoying the low fidelity transfer I found myself thinking, "I can't wait to see this in Bluray later this year!"
 
So we are brought back to my main question. What's with the obsession with the past? Especially the near past? I can understand wanting to revist a simpler time when men and women worked with their hands or when our lives weren't bogged down with technology. I even understand the people who want to look at a simpler time combined with the technology of today. (Read hear Steampunk is cool) Fashion makes sense to me. But technology has always been the exception.
 
Will we ever get to the point where watching TV on a smaller screen is cool? I think we already have hit that point. I watched an episode of Firefly on my iPhone today at lunch...doesn't get much smaller than that. Will we ever yearn for the days of dial-up Internet connections? How about getting our news from a sort of paper like object, I think people called it a newspaper? Just kidding! But, when more people get their news from TV, the Internet, and alternate media it's not really that far off to classify newsprint as a dead (or at least on life support) medium.
 
What I'm really trying to say is that as much as I like to think I am hip the the current state of things. I like to have the new and shiny toys. But, I can't help but be caught up in the past. I keep feeling more like that old man you see who still thinks back fondly on a time when his phone number was one digit or when all he had to do was call up the operator and ask to be connected to so-and-so (yes dad I am mocking you!). Oh well...time to dust off my cassette tape copy of the soundtrack to Twister, pop it in my Walkman and go sweat to the oldies.
 
Bonus points if you now realize that the title has nothing to do with the post but you kept reading to see if I was going to be talking about Dr. Who.

The Best of Twitter -- Pt. 4 ... "news"

The final installment in my look at my twitter follow list will center on the "news" feeds that I follow. These are by no means the be all end all of the twitter news options out there...but these are the few that I follow on a daily basis and if you consider yourself a geek/techo nerd some of them you should follow too.

Gizmodo -- @gizmodo

Get the latest news on everything tech related. From the newest computer games, to the newest video game. They were also one of the first sites to point out the antenna problem with the iPhone 4. If it wasn't for this Twitter feed I probably wouldn't have ended up with the free bumber case I have on my phone.

Den of Geek -- @dennofgeek

A great British site that is devoted to all things geek. If you are a fan of: Comics, TV shows, movies and games then give them a shot. Also, I suggest adding the full site to your reading list. It's and easy way to kill a few hours at work. Fans of Dr.Who, Torchwood and all things British comedy/sci fi should find this site to their liking. With daily gossip on what's going on in Hollywood and beyond making the Twitter feed and site a daily addition is a good idea!

SyFy -- @blastr

Updates on all the goings on in the Syfy world. Not just limited to the Syfy channel. Here you will find rumors on upcoming projects. Pictures from set and all manner of trailers. If you miss a week you can also tune into their weekly review where they look at not only the top stories...but the top reader comments to those stories. Maybe they'll make you famous! (I also reccomend the iPhone app)

CNN breaking news -- @cnnbrk

Always at work? Not always in a place where you can keep up with the world around you? Well, try to follow this feed and set up mobile alerts and you will never miss a celebrity death, war/coup, or crazy weather event.

Mental Floss -- @mental_floss

Talk about learning things you never knew you needed to know! Ever wondered what the rarest video game is? How about famous killers who were executed even though the people they were conviced of killing later turned up alive? If stories like that and enough geek related quizzes to make your mind spin is what gets you though your day then you probably already follow them and their site...and get the magazine. If you do stop in make sure to say hello to my buddy Rob who writes for them. (he can also be found on Twitter @spacemonkeyx )

Geeks are Sexy -- @geeksaresexy

Geeks are sexy. Even if other people won't admit it. Links from this site will take you to engaging articles like: Tongue Wrestle Mania: The Art and Science of French Kissing, Dungeons & Dragons: A Threat to Prison Security?, and The Truth about Infographics!  How can you go wrong? 

The Best of Twitter -- Pt. 3 ... Fictional

So we've covered Celebrity Tweets, Fake Celebrity Tweets. Now it's time to high light a few of my favorite fictional twitter accounts.


These are accounts of Movie and TV characters that tend to follow the characters "personal" life outside the show. Here you can get character insight and sometime much more fun.

Richard Castle -- @writercastle

Proud father, best selling author and armature detective. If you are a fan of Castle on ABC then you need to be following this account. Between new episodes you will get a variety of tweets. Want to know what the boys at the 12th are up to? Wonder what college Alexis will be going to or what boy stopped by the apt? This will keep you going from week to week. Plus, if they continue the trend of the last few summers you will get the benefit of a little summer Castle mystery via twitter to keep you going. Last year it was murder in the Hamptons. No Beckett, but same old Castle.

Death Star PR -- @DeathStarPR

Just because you're an evil empire doesn't mean that people have to view you that way. That's why even the most evil among us need a good PR department. The dark side of the force could use all the help they can get. I mean really...you blow a few planets up and people start to give you a bad name. That's where the PR departmetn steps in to save the day. "Lady Gaga arrived at the #Grammys in an egg. Thus proving once and for all that worse things come out of eggs than alien facehuggers." or how about, "Bet Yoda mothballed the “Do or do not speech” for a while after trying, and spectacularly failing, to kill Palpatine. #StarWars"

Darth Vader -- @depresseddarth

Going hand in hand with the Death Star PR account is one for the Dark Lord of the Sith himself, Darth Vader. Sadly, he's been a little grumpy as of late. But, you probably guessed that from the twitter handle of Depressed Darth. "VDay I can't even get an escort to go out with me. They don't take galactic credits and it turns out force grabs can't be used as currency" Poor guy. Kermit said that it's not easy being green...but Darth is having a hard time being super evil! But, he's always looking to recruit. "Starting to think Lindsay Lohan would make a great sith. She has a taste for danger and her hair would match our lightsabers."

Cobra Commander -- @cobracommander

Not sure why all the funny fictional accounts seem to lean towards the evil world domination types. The more you know I guess. Cobra commander is, of course, the leader of C.O.B.R.A. Sworn enemy of G.I. Joe, wearer of clean chrome and crimson and blue. This is the guy who, when the world political environment changes is there looking to make a buck, and possible take over a country or two. But, for some reason he never seems to have time to teach his soldiers to shoot straight! Did you ever notice that in the cartoon the cobra soldiers couldn't seem to hit the broad side of a barn? Recent tweets include, "Mubarak owes me money. Shocking, right?" and "I care enough about Egypt I tweeted about it. Now back to my super-sized Baconator. I love you America"

Bender -- @bender

Not really evil. Not really that good. Bender is after all an amoral bending unit from the future that drinks. Remember though he drinks because he wants to, not because he has to. If you run afoul of him you will most likely be invited to "bite his shiney metal ass". Now he doesn't tweet as much as some of the other accounts but when he does it's priceless. "Hey laserlips! Your momma was a snowblower!" If you can name that movie (no cheating), I'll give you... well, nothing. But you'll be cool." and "Ahhh beer. So many choices, so little difference."

Tomorrow we will again shift focus this time to twitter accounts that may actually teach you something. It may not be something you wanted to know. But, you will learn something. Current events? Maybe. Geek info? Most likely. What some random fool did in your area? Depends.

The Best of Twitter -- Pt. 2 ... Fake

There are a ton of "fake" accounts on twitter. Mostly they are just a good excuse to push forward the shadier side of the celebrity. Usually what you get is ramblings that are beyond good taste...and totally funny.

Here are a few of my personal favorites in the "Fake" category.

Not Gary Busey -- @GaryJBusey

If you are looking for a daily dose of wisdom from someone who is not really a celebrity but plays one on twitter. Or if you are looking to read some vile and demeaning comments on celebrities, women, the world, sex and drug use then this is for you. With tweets such as, "Giant snowstorms hitting residents of Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin...The last thing the Midwest needs is more white people."  or "#thingsImiss Rockstars going on a good ol' fashioned coke binge and fucking up some hotel rooms. You just don't see that dedication anymore."

Elizabeth Windsor -- @Queen_UK

Ever wonder what the life of a Royal is like? What happens when the Duke of Edinburgh gets out of hand? What time gin O'clock is? Here is your go to source. Depending on your sense of humor this may or may not be for you. Not dirty like Gary...but not straight up funny like Steve Martin's account. I enjoy it for some reason. So read it and judge me!

Pimp Bill Clint -- @pimpbillclinton

Pimpin' ain't easy. If anyone should know this fact it's our ex-president Bill Jeff. Again this fake account helps you understand the ins and outs of being a pimp ex-pres. Some of the recent wisdom from the account include, "I call my penis @kingjames because it's a physical freak and it wants to take it's talents to South Beach." or "How crazy is my libido? I've been banging a chick who's worn pantsuits for the last 30 years. THAT'S how crazy..."



Jesus -- @Jesus_m_Christ

If the son of God had a twitter acount...this would not be it!! Trust me! If you take blasphamy seriously don't even think about looking at this account. Some of the less offensive tweets of the last few days are, "It's hard to convince a girl to fuck you when she think you're gay. It's even harder if she's an atheist and thinks you don't exist."  or how about, "#lasttimet#lasttimethecavswon Judas and I were friends."

Tomorrow we will take a look at some of my favorite Fictional account. By that I mean those twitter accounts that are set up in the name of a TV or movie character...or related entity/

The Best of Twitter -- Pt. 1 ....Real

Twitter is an amazing social media tool. How else would the average person have the ability to have a "Conversation" with their favorite celebrity?

Granted the term conversation and celebrity have their limitations in the Twitterverse. But, hey any port in a storm! 

I've had short lived conversations with a few CEO's and even a comic book conversation with Michael Chiklis of the Shield and No Ordinary Family fame (@michaelchiklis). I've got a friend who's had a conversation with the likes of Alyssa Milano!! (@aylssa_milano)  Seriously how cool is that?

I'm still waiting with baited breath to snag a mention/re-tweet from the king himself Nathan Fillion (@NathanFillion)
Twitter is a great way to stay connected with friends and family, the famous and the fictional. So, over the next few days I will pass along a few of my favorite twitter accounts in four main categories: Celebrity, News, Fake and Fictional.

Today we will start with......

Celebrity:

Nathan Fillion -- @NathanFillion

The star of Firefly, Serenity, Slither and Castle is a constant twitter-er.  Whether it's pictures from the set. A shot of his action figure Christmas Tree. Or just the cool things that he gets to do with his celebrity. You can always expect a few laughs a day from Capt. Malcom Reynolds himself. A celebrity that embraces twitter is not new. One that is on constantly and answers fans questions and has been known to slip twitter related references into his TV show is rare. Every time you see him "Feed the Bird" or drop a "Bam Said the Lady" it's like your in the know for a cool inside joke. Which is exactly what he's done. It's subtle...but it's there! That's why Fillion is the man.

Michael Chiklis -- @MichaelChiklis

The star of: The Commish, The Shield, No Ordinary Family. Comic book creator, musician, Autism awareness spokesman. The guy does it all and still finds time for those of us in the twitter world. When his new comic book project "Pantheon" dropped in shops a few months back I made a comment on twitter to the effect that I was really looking forward to the new title and couldn't wait until the second issue hit stands. Within a few minutes I had a response from Michael telling me he was glad I liked the title and he'd keep us updated on when to expect the second issue. True to his word....got that update! So for that...he hits my list!

Eliza Dusku -- @elisadusku

The Star of: Buffy, Tru Calling and Dollhouse. Activist, funny girl, and lover of all things LA. Dusku is someone I started following when I was watching Dollhouse. While I have never had a direct conversation with her I know that she is open to lending a virtual helping hand when needed. She's done twitter based fundraising for Haiti and other worth while organizations. She's another who is willing to answer questions, interact with the fans and post the occasional silly photo.

Steve Martin -- @SteveMartinToGo

SNL Alumni, movie star, Stand up comedian, author, twitter genius. Follow him....follow him now! This is a guy who can make a joke last for days. Usually that's overkill. But, in the case of Steve Martin it's comic gold! His riff a few weeks back about getting a dubious award....from himself was great. As was his short twitter run as President of Egypt. For a good laugh make him a big part of your Twitter stream.

Craig Engler -- @syfy

Not a celebrity in the strictest sense of the word. But, if you are a follower of all things Science Fiction...or a regular watcher of the Syfy channel this is a great account to follow. Here you will get hands on news about upcoming shows and events, contests, and usually a large number of Q&A sessions throughout the week. If there was ever a question about how a show makes it to the air, stays on the air, how ratings work...this is your guy. you can also follow his personal feed @craigengler

Tomorrow we will take a look at a few of my favorite "fake" accounts. Oh, and dare I forget to mention...you can always check in on yours truly @jameshields

Firefly to fly again! (sort of)

Nathan Fillion seems to have caused quite a stir on the web with his comments this last week when he told Entertainment Weekly, in an interview,  that he would gladly dust off his gun and brown coat to play Captain Malcom "Mal" Reynolds again if asked.

To quote the interview, '"It was my favorite job ever. What wasn’t great about it? I got to wear a low-slung holster. I got to ride horses. I got to have a spaceship. I got to act mean and curmudgeonly. [Creator Joss Whedon] is really good at kicking characters in the nuts so the other characters would have laughs at my expense and that was great too."

So where did this all come from? Well, die hard Browncoats have been asking for this for a long time (myself included), but mostly it's because Firefly is coming back to cable.  The Science Channel will begin running the series starting March 6th. In addition to running in full...it will be run in its original order as was intended by creator and writer Joss Wheadon.

As a fan of the series I would love to see it return with new episodes. But, I'm not sure it would work for a couple of reasons.

First the majority of the cast is tied up with other TV projects:

Nathan Fillion -- Castle
Gina Torres -- Huge
Alan Tudyk -- free (legally speaking..not so sure)
Morena Baccarin -- V
Adam Baldwin -- Chuck
Jewel Staite -- Free (But shouldn't be!)
Sean Maher --  Free
Summe Glauu -- Cape (but may be free soon)
Ron Glass -- free

So...essentially you have Wash, Kaylee, Simon and Book free to come back for a new show without having to put off other shows.

The second problem is that of those four who currently have no other commitments...two of the characters died in the movie Serenity (Wash and Book). I guess you could always set the new series between the final episode of the previous show and the events of the movie. But, filler stories like that seem to always lack something since you know the ultimate ending of the characters arc. On the other hand you do have the vast majority of the characters that survived and it could be interesting to see where they go after the loses they suffered during Serenity.

As much as the fan boy in me would love to see Serenity fly again with the old crew on board I think it may be something that is best left the way it is. A great series tragically killed before its time. A show that had a solid cast and crew who produced top notch story telling, only to be grounded by a network that is notorious for having no patience with shows.

Even if FOX did admit they made a mistake and offer to bring the show back. Even if you could get the whole cast and crew back together. Even if the stars aligned and all this happened....there's no guarantee that we would all wouldn't have our hearts broken again! Plus, with the limitation set forth in the movie we wouldn't get to see a whole lot of growth from the characters.

Inara and Mal would still be lying about their feelings. Wash and Zoe would still be married (granted you could throw a twist into that in true Joss fashion), River would still be crazy, Kaylee and Simon would still be dancing around their feelings, Jayne --- would still be Jayne, and we would never get to find out what Shepard Book's story really was. Which would box you into how the characters could grow.

Sure you could give them many more years of crazy space adventures. Adventures that would be fun, funny, heart breaking and heart warming. But, in the end you would realize that there is only so far you can take the character growth without jumping past the events of the movie.

If there was an honest to God ground swell to raise cash to buy the rights to the show from FOX so Fillion and pals could make it themselves...I'd throw in a few buck. Or, better yet...plan a vacation around their shooting schedule to help lend a hand! 

Currently there is one main place that you can show your support for Fillion and the crew of serentity...on Facebook on Twitter there is no set account..but you will see the hash tags everywhere...even a few of the writers have said they would jump on board to help out!

Fingers crossed that we will soon see more futuristic Space Cowboy adventures of a ragtag bunch of strangers who turn out like any other TV family. They lived, loved, fought, lost, triumphed and cursed in Chinese all on one of the coolest spaceships to hit TV.

2011 NBA SLAM DUNK CONTEST HIGHLIGHTS

Blake Griffin is a freak of nature!! This was amazing!!

The Death of Bieber -- CSI Style

I love that clips of this were on YouTube only minutes after the episode was on. Gotta admit I hate his music. But, at least he's got a sense of humor (see Best Buy ad with Ozzy) and is not taking himself as serious as other guys out there.

Movie Review -- The Eagle (2011)

 If you like Roman Legion movies you will like this.

In my opinion all movies about the Roman Legion suffer from the same set of problems and this film is no exception.

Before I list those perceived problems let me say that I enjoyed this film. Fairly new(ish) story with good actors with big and bloody battle scenes.

You knew what was being promised going in...and it delivered on that promise.

Channing Tatum plays the main role of Marcus Aquila. Marcus is taking command of his first legion while trying to escape the shadow of his father. Not the good kind of shadow either. Marcus' father was leader of the famed 9th Legion that traveled into northern Britain and was lost along with their standard the "Eagle", symbol of Rome. The loss of both the legion and the Eagle caused emperor Hadrian to build a wall separating the wild northern region.  Hadrian's wall officially marked the "end of the world" and no Roman dared venture north of the wall.

After being injured in defense of his garrison Marcus is given the honor of Rome...and a discharge from the Legion.  While recovering from his injuries with his uncle (played by Donald Sutherland) he saves the life of slave Esca (Jamie Bell...my my Billie Elliott has grown up!). Esca is then bound by slavery, and honor, to Marcus.

When word comes that The Eagle has been spotted north of the wall Marcus and Esca head off to recover the symbol of Rome and Marcus' family name. 

It's a story of friendship, honor and courage. Your typical Roman fare. Strangely there were no orgies! But, I digress....

Over all the acting and story are good. Channing Tatum is slowing becoming one of my favorite actors. Fighting, GI Joe a short turn in Public Enemies were all good...wasn't much of a fan of Step Up, but that's just me.

Now I said that the film falls into the trappings of other Roman Legion films. Mainly there are three issues that see to plague all movies about the Roman Legion...and Rome in general.

1) What accent is that? -- Usually you get a bunch of British and American actors and they just do their thing. That's fine. But, from time to time you get this strange quasi-accent. It's not British, it's not American, it's not Irish....it's just distracting. That seemed to be where Channing was going at the start, but it got straightened out early on!

2) The soft focus! -- Not sure why almost every director of a film on the Legion and or Rome seem to use the soft focus. It's like everyone needs to think that some of the scenes are a dream! It's not a dream, it's a movie, we are smarter than you think...take the Vaseline off the lens.

3) Fields of wheat. -- Since Gladiator it seems like there is always one shot of a Roman walking through or standing near a flowing field of wheat. Pretty sure there was only one shot...near a field in The Eagle. But, I'm pretty sure there was a shot.

None of these are deal breakers. Seriously, I just laughed for a second and moved on with the movie. But, it stuck in my head.

Forgotten Albums (A.K.A: misplaced memories)

I think I spend too much time either watching movies or listening to my iPhone/iTunes. Because I spend 10+ hours a day with my music running in one ear I from time to time come across an album that I had totally forgotten about. Most of the time they are albums that I was obsessed with at one point or another. 

Obsession is a funny animal like that. One day it's all you can listen to and the next thing you know it's been a year or more since you've listened to the album. Here is a small selection of cd's that came out of nowhere the other day.

Nellie McKay --Get Away From Me

Here is a CD that came to me from a co-worker recommendation. For the most part I don't jump into an album without hearing any songs, that usually leads to me selling the album shortly after buying it. This CD though was a pleasant shock. At the time it was only $6.99 and at a double album it was a steal. What really sealed the deal for me was the sticker that had a review that stated something to the effect that, "McKay is equal parts Dori Day and Eminem."  Who can pass up a comparison like thank? I also hit the Internet to listen to the track "Wouldn't it be nice" A song with a bouncy jazz beat and lyrics like, "If you would, sit so close to me, it would be nice, like it's supposed to be, if you don't I slit your throat! Wouldn't it be nice"

Silverhead -- Silverhead

Silverhead was glam before glam was hot! Silverhead came about after Bolan & T. Rex but just before Bowie came to the states to dominate the music scene. With only this album and the follow up "16 and Savaged" to hold on too they were a solid glam rock band. Lead by Michael DesBarres and Nigel Harrison (who would later play with Blondie). They were the kings of "we're big in Japan". If you look hard enough you can find some live shows from Japan but the self titled album and the follow up are the only studio albums available!

Rocco DeLuca & The Burden -- I trust you to kill me.

Deep soulful vocals, killer riffs highlight this debut album. The was a gift from late night TV. Usually when a celebrity is talking about their favorite "unknown" band it's usually a band their kid is in, or a friends kid. With this album it's the PR machine that was Keifer Sutherland in the heights of 24's run that hooked me. I think Keifer was on Letterman one night talking about his record label with friend Jude Cole and he talked about the first release they were putting out. Keifer talked about how he toured with the band as their road manager, before getting fired! That along with a promo clip of him attacking a Christmas tree in the lobby of a European hotel told me I needed to hear this. The highlights are the songs Gravity, Dope, and Gift. Overall though it is a solid album start to finish. Like the other albums on this list, I'm not sure why I tend to move away from listening to this for long periods of time only to rediscover it at a later date?!

Amos Lee -- Last Days at the Lodge

I feel strange putting yet another "forgotten" album on this list that was released in the last few years. But, Amos Lee is an artist that I had no knowledge of prior to 2007. It was that year that I saw him open for Elvis Costello and Bob Dylan. As "unknown" (to me) opening acts go he was only the second guy that I actively looked for his music after the concert. The other being Howie Day who opened up for Tori Amos in 2005 I believe. Again this is an album that is both soulful and rocking at the same time. His current album Mission Bell is a constant fixture in my car CD changer at this moment. But, I have to say this is the album that drew me into his world.

Tara MacLean -- Passenger

This is a hold over from my college days. I remember walking into a used record store just wanting a new CD to listen to until the new Tori Amos CD was released. So I hit the discount bin, shelled out $2 I think, and took this album back to the dorm. I have a soft spot for chick rock...Tori Amos, Ani DiFranco, Michelle Branch and many others. This was probably the biggest pleasant surprise of any CD that I bought as a blind purchase with no knowledge of the artist. Whenever I'm looking to revisit my college days or just chill with a mellow album this seems to pop up. Probably only available to buy if you shop online. I was always mad that there was never a big follow up to this album. I did find a single once with her doing a version of Mad World that was pretty killer. But, no official album that I ever saw. Maybe it's time to look again.

Ani DiFranco -- Little Plastic Castles

This album was a spin off from my love of obsession of Tori Amos. That and I was working at an oldies radio station that used to be a top 40 station. What does that mean? Well, we got a lot of free CD's that didn't fit the format. So, I would get to listen to these CD's and copy them if I wanted. But, in this case I ran right out an bought it.  The highlight for me is the track Two Little Girls. A tragic song of friendship, struggling youth off the bus lost in NY, and drug overdose.

Liz Phair -- Exile in Guyville

Again this album was the result of record label mailings at the radio station. When we got the single for "extraordinary" off her self-titled album I went and searched out her older stuff. This little gem filled with catch tunes like: 6'1", Johnny Sunshine, and Fuck and Run. What really makes me laugh every time that Liz comes on is that a few years back that single extraordinary was used as the theme song for the NCAA women's basketball tourney. Why is that funny? Well the chorus of the song is, "I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me, I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary,  Average every day sane psycho, Supergoddess, Average every day sane psycho."  For the purpose of the TV spot it just repeated the "I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me" part! Got hours more entertainment out of that spot than I did the tournament!!

Gin Blossoms -- New Miserable Experience

You couldn't listen to music in the early 90's without finding at least one song off this album that you liked. Either that or you ended up with a giant case of rage whenever Allison Road and Hey Jealousy come on the radio. The album was released in 1992, a year that saw me hanging out a lot, not paying for much of anything and generally being a lazy no job having slacker. Did I mention that I was also 13 at the time? Ah, Jr. High!! If it wasn't the Gin Blossoms it was Garth Brooks or the Spin Doctors.  This album reminds me of those simpler times. Plus, it's still really good!

Amy Grant -- Heart in Motion

For starters....don't judge me! Way back in 1991 (when I was 12) this was the coolest thing ever!! Amy was the first music poster I had on my wall, the first album I knew all the words to, the first concert I ever wanted to go to (and was able to go!!). As a matter of fact that poster stayed on my wall until my parents sold their house in like 2000. Part of me wants to lie to myself and say that it was there because it was covering up a giant rip in the wall paper. But, seriously it was there because I still liked her. Not as much of fan anymore. Not that I don't like Christian music (which is her thing now) but, I'm more of a fan of the old school. This album and 1994's House of Love still have a soft spot on in my heart...and a slot on my CD shelf.

Anthony Stewart Head & George Sarah -- Music for Elevators

Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans, and those who love/tolerate them, may be the only people who know about this album. Or maybe the random fans of Tony's brother Murray Head who had a hit with the song "One Night in Bangkok" from the musical "Chess" back in 1984. I strangely fall into both column A and B. But, in my defense It wasn't until I was looking at Tony Head's wiki page that I made the connection...but I digress. I bought this album based on about a minute clip of Tony, on and episode of Buffy, singing The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes". From there I grabbed a few singles from random, less than legal, sites of him singing at conventions and other random appearances. But, this 2002 release, was a nice surprise. I really hadn't kept up with any fan sites at the time so when I came across this in a Boarders it was an instant purchase. Featuring Buffy cast members: James Marsters, Amber Benson, and Alyson Hannigan (who doesn't sing but can be heard speaking on "End Game".

I'm just a little backwards

Technologically speaking I am a little ass backwards from time to time.

I've done the standard progression when it comes to cell phones. I had your normal big ass cell, the tiny flip phone from Sprint, then the first Palm phone from sprint, then I switched to a crazy phone that could play "ring tones"!! From there it was the Razor, Razor V3xx and then the upgrade to the iPhone, iPhone 3g, and then I jumped right to the iPhone 4.

For game systems it was Nintendo, Sega, Playstation, PS2, XBOX, XBOX 360 and a PS3. Then I got a Nintendo 64!! Throw in a few hand held systems thrown in the mix. The coolest of which was the Sega Nomad (look it up..it's awesome).

But, when it comes to media systems I have jumped a few steps. VHS, VCD, DVD, Bluray.  Now that may look normal but her comes the hiccup to the progression. I just bought a Laser Disc player! That's right. I found a Pioneer Laser Disc player at Goodwill for $30.

You may be asking why would anyone jump backwards to laser disc? A format where you actually have to get up and flip the disc in the middle of the movie in most cases! Well, the answer is simple...it's fun!

There's something to be said for having movies on laser disc. I started off with The Shadow and Under Siege just to make sure the player worked. Once that was verified I spent $9 on eBay to purchase Star Wars: A New Hope and Empire along with Apollo 13. 

Deep down I know there was no good reason to buy this relic of the entertainment industry. But, damn me if I didn't always want one! Plus, it is a digital Karaoke player! How pimp is that? Especially since I don't give a crap about Karaoke!!

Random Musical thoughts

Looking through my iPod the other day I got thinking about totally random musically related things! Thwhat things? Well, I got thinking aboutt what's the longest song on my iPod? What's the shortest song that would actually qualify as a song not a song intro/interlude? What's artist has the most songs on my iPod?

I also got thinking about songs that confused me once I actually listened to the words!!

Longest song: Iron Butterfly -- In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida 17:02
Shortest Song: The Beatles -- Her Majesty 0:29

Most songs: It a Tie between Gram Parsons and The Beatles at 88 songs each

Songs that confused me when I finally actually listened to the lyrics:

Billy Joel -- Only the Good Die Young.  While it's pretty obvious what this song is about now...there was a long time that I was completely ignorant about what was going on.. "Come out come out come out Virgina don't let me wait, You Catholic girls start much too late, Sooner or later it comes down to fate, I might as well be the one, You know that only the good die young, "  Really, how did I miss that one?

Herman's Hermits -- Silhouettes.  Always thought of this as a catchy little tune. Sang along for years! But, what seemed to escape me for the longest time was the following, "Lost control and rang your bell, I was sore,et me in or else I'll beat down your door, When two strangers who have been two silhouettes on the shade, Said to my shock 'you're on the wrong block' ". Essentially what you have here is a guy who boarders on obsessive/stalker. Granted he does get bounced out of the stalker category since it seems he really does have a relationship with the girl he thought he was watching. But, seriously this guy is just about one bad weekend away from a Temporary Restraining Order!

The Police -- Every Breath You take.  Speaking of stalker songs, "Every breath you take and every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, I'll be watching you, Every single day and every word you say, Every game you play, Every night you stay, I'll be watching you, Oh can't you see you belong to me?" Okay...so maybe I did see this one coming a mile away. Let's face the facts. This should be the national theme song for stalkers and their friends!

Another good song for this list is the Rolling Stones, "Brown Sugar". Basically a song that covers everything from slave sale and rape to oral sex, drugs and other "taboo" subjects. The opening lyrics set the tone for the song, "Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields, Sold in a market down in New Orleans, Scarred old slaver knows he's doing alright, Hear him with the women just around midnight, Brown sugar how come you taste so good? Brown sugar just like a young girl should."  So with those lyrics it always cracks me up when I see a high school or college cheer leading squad doing routines to this song. Seriously, I want to stand up and mock them!!

I never claimed to be bright! From time to time I can be down right stupid. The best part is when the song has been around for a long time and you know the song...you KNOW the lyrics. For some reason though you seem to ignore the meaning all together.

Movie Review -- Legion (2010)

Mankind's last hope is a fallen Angel and a band of strangers.

Nothing says day after Valentine's Day quite like a movie with killer angels...with machine guns!!
Paul Bettany stars as Michael, an angel of Heaven, who decides to defy God's wish to bring about the extinction of humanity..

While God has lost faith in man, Michael still sees hope. So in direct defiance he sets off for Earth to help prove that man still has some worth left.

His journey on Earth leads him to Paradise, a gas station in the middle of nowhere. There he makes a last stand against Gabriel (Kevin Durand) and the armies of Heaven.

Michael seems fixated on making sure that pregnant single mother Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) delivers and her baby survives. Apparently her child is the key to humanities salvation. Is he right? Are we worth saving?

Stranded with them in "Paradise" is the owner Bob Hanson (Denis Quaid) his son Jeep (Lucas Black)their cook/partner Percy Walker (Charles S. Dutton) a traveling family (including the Closer's Jon Tenney) and Tyrese Gibson playing the ever present street tough bad ass.

As action movies go this one is about as predictable as they come. But, it tries to put forth a message without being preachy. Which, if your going to throw out an overt religious message in an over the top action movie..is really the only way to go!

Paul Bettany makes a damn fine action star and I am looking forward to his turn in Priest due out later this year. I don't think he has done a movie so far that I haven't liked. Fans of Lost will recognize Kevin Durand (Gabriel) who played an equally as intense Martin Keamy on that show. He'll also appear in Real Steel later this year along side Hugh Jackman.

 For me, this movie has the three things tat I look for: 1) a solid cast 2) great action scenes 3) a better than average script.

Valentine's Day -- Hallmark's Best Invention

Poor Little guy

A friend last week pointed out that "Valentines Day is really singles awareness day!" I put in my two cents to amend that quote to "Valentines Days, singles awareness day. Brought to you by Hallmark (now with more Jack Daniels than any other Holiday)!"  I also think it warrants consideration that the original quote was from a FEMALE friend.

I've never been a big fan of the day. Even when I was in a relationship it seemed like it was the one day of the year you were forced to do something. My personal philosophy is to spread the love out. Why give flowers on the day they're expected? Why not give them on an unexpected day to show that you care, not just that you remembered it was February 14th? That's just my two cents.
That got me thinking about quotes on love/relationships/marriage and the such. So, I did what any blogger in this day and age does. I turned to google and decided to cut and past some quotes. So without further ado, and even less work....

My contribution to Valentine's Day

(via other people's quotes)

"I wanted to marry her when I saw the moonlight shining on the barrel of her father's shotgun."-- Eddie Albert (actor)

"The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end." -- Benjamin Disraeli (author, statesman)

"The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see where the wife was wrong." -- Archie Bunker (comedian, actor)

"Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking." -- Chinese Proverb

"Immature love says "I love you because I need you." Mature love says "I need you because I love you." -- Erich Fromm (social psychologist)

"My heart is a flower, that blooms every hour. I believe in the power, of love." -- Amos Lee (singer) Song: Flower

Now, if you are looking for some tunes to bump for this holiday that let others know of you apathy for the day then here is a little playlist for your anti-Valentines day listening pleasure. Songs so anti love or relationship...or just down right depressing that you can't go wrong! Guaranteed to depress you or just help kick you out of the lovey dovey funk of the day:

1. Love Stinks -- J. Geils Band
2. Love Hurts -- Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris
3. One more Minute -- "Weird" Al Yankovic
4. U and UR Hand -- Pink
5. (I hate) Everything about You -- Ugly Kid Joe (had to dig deep for that one!)
6. She Hates Me -- Puddle of Mudd
7. Song for the Dumped -- Ben Fold Five
8. Alone and Forsaken -- Neko Case
9. Run for your life -- The Beatles
10. F**K YOU -- CeeLo
11. $1000 Wedding -- Gram Parsons
12. What She's Doing Now -- Garth Brooks
13. Won't You Please Be Nice -- Nellie McKay (give it a listen if you've never heard it!)
14. How soon is now? -- The Smiths (can't have a mellow playlist without the Smiths)
15. Spark -- Tori Amos

So there you go...15 songs destined to either depress you to no end or show your Anti-Love mood on this the most crappy of all greeting card holidays! (at least the as long as you are single I guess)

Romantic Comedies

So....are you looking for something to sit down and watch with your special someone tomorrow? Romantic comedies not your cup of tea? Well, have no fear I've got just a few suggestions for you to take to the video store. Some are obvious....some not so much!

Breakfast at Tiffany's -- 1961

Classics never go out of style. If your significiant other is a fan of Audrey Hepburn this is a can't miss treat. Ladies: if you are a fan of the Little Black Dress see the film and the woman who made it the iconic look it is today. Plus, there's a nice little love story thrown in for fun. Guys: Audrey Hepburn is a great actress and very easy on the eyes. Plus, you will see a few familiar faces in George Peppard (Hannibal from the A-Team) and Buddy Ebsen (Jed Clampett). Personally for me this is a must watch with a great cast and good story. In the end the style and grace of Audrey Hepburn make any of her movies an enjoyable nights watch.

Fools Rush In -- 1997

Matthew Perry picks up Selma Hayak outside a restaurant bathroom. They sleep together, she gets pregnant, they get married...multicultural hijinx ensue! Ladies: it's a funny and sweet romantic comedy about doing the right things for all the wrong reasons. Matthew Perry is funny and people tell me he's cute too. Guys: Selma Hayek is hot and Matthew Perry is funny as hell. I mean who hasn't scored a chick on the rebound outside a bathroom...knocked her up...then married her on a whim a few months later? We can all relate to that right? It's a no brainier movie. You know how it will end. But, in the mean time it will allow you to sit back and relax while having a few laughs at someone else's expense.


You've Got Mail -- 1998

Remember when there was a thing called email? Remember when you would use email to communicate with other people? This is a romantic comedy throw back. You typical formula that has been done a thousand times. Girl meets boy. Boy tries to crush girls tiny book store. Girl talks to boy over email not knowing that he is the boy she has met and already hates. Girl falls for boy and wonders why her current relationship can't be more like her email relationship? Girls: for most of the 90's Hanks and Ryan were the king and queen of the romantic comedies. Let's face it...you probably already know and love this movie. Guys: hate to fall back on this...but Meg Ryan is a cutie! Plus, Tom Hanks is seriously funny. Don't forget that you also get to see him share screen time with Dave Chappelle. Chappelle is funny but don't expect him to be Chappelle Show funny and you'll be fine.

Three To Tango -- 1999

Again a fun watch with a simple to follow plot. Boy meets girl..falls in love...pretends to be gay to hang around with girl. Has to win her love and respect...and fight off her already good looking boyfriend: This movie has a lot working for it in my opinion. Neve Campbell is a good female lead for this movie. She has just the right mix of sexy, smart and funny to keep the character grounded. Matthew Perry again finds himself in the role of romcom goof-ball. This time accidentally pretending to be gay. Lucky for him he has the help of his gay best friend played to perfection by Oliver Platt. Dylan McDermott plays the other man in this comic love triangle. He does pull off the part with a certain flare that makes his character of Charles both sweet and a little dickish. You can almost see what Neve likes in him...but you are most likely not pulling for him to come out on top in this game.

Shaun of the Dead -- 2004

Now, if you are a little less of a traditionalist, than maybe you would like some zombies and brains mixed in with your romantic comedy. At it's core Shaun of the Dead is the story of a bloke just trying to get the girl he loves to come back to him. He has to deal with the fact that he hasn't grown much as a man. He has to deal with the fact that he has let her down in the past. He has to deal with the fact that her friends really don't think he's all that good for her. Oh, and he has to deal with the zombie apocalypse!! Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have created a masterpiece here. It's a romantic comedy with zombies! Or maybe you would like to look at is as a zombie movie with a romantic subplot. Either way if your significant other can get past the carnage and blood shed there is a little something for everyone in this film!
  
Chasing Amy -- 1997

Finally, a romantic comedy that all guys can relate to. Falling in love with a lesbian! Chasing Amy stars Ben Affleck and the hapless and hopeless fool Holden McNeil. Holden falls in love with fellow comic book writer Alyssa Jones (played by Joey Lauren Adams). They hang out, talk, and Holden tries everything he can to make her fall in love with him. It's the uphill battle that you know he probably won't win. Or will he? Director Kevin Smith crafted a fine film here. A smart script, great cast, and some final words of wisdom from the Tubby Bitch himself Silent Bob make this a fun movie. Typical with any Smith film there is some colorful language, some great back and forth between Adams and Affleck and Affleck and Jason Lee. In the end you lean a valuable lesson. Never try to turn a lesbian!

So there you have it. A few alternate valentines day films. You could also go with straight horror/Slasher with My Bloody Valentine or Valentine (David Boreanaz). More traditional comedy: Valentine's Day (2010) or most anything Disney.

In the end the important thing is that if you are spending the day with someone you care about choose something that will make your both happy. The day is really about enjoying each others company. Not really about what you do.

Dave and Busters

Dave and Busters....For those who don't know about this wonderland of fun I'd say it's like Chuck -E- Cheese with beer. But, Chuck -E- Cheese serves beer. A fact that I learned a few years back when my buddy Ryan had his birthday party at the Cheese!

So here I am a few years later and I'm getting ready to celebrate another friends birthday with beer, food, and video games!  Nothing says fun like drinking and then playing some first person shooter or even worse. Guitar Hero!

Best of all if you save the tickets you "win" you can buy AMAZING prizes! Like video games for a mere 12,500 points, a crock pot for 10,000 points, or a PS3 for the low low price of 75,000 tickets.  So save your points and then buy something fun. Just don't think too hard about how much that "free" prize cost you. Trust me...it can get brutal!

Oh....Happy Birthday Sabrina!!

Movie Review -- Dodgeball (2004)

Dodgeball -- "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball"--Patches O'Houlihan.

Where does the average guy go to escape his everyday life and get in a few reps on the weight machine? Where can you go and workout without fear of mocking (even if you are dressed like a Pirate)? What gym in the world would a nerdy cheerleader wanna-be, a guy who dresses like a pirate, an overweight father of two, and a slacker all be welcomed with open arms? Average Joe's is the answer to all those questions.

Sadly, that may not be an option for much longer if Globo Gym has it's way.

What you get in DodgeBall is a battle of David versus Goliath, average guy vs. freaky fit, tool vs. slacker!

Average Joe's is run by slacker Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn). Gym members include: Steve the Pirate (Alan Tudyk) who's aptly named that way because he...drum roll please...thinks he's a pirate; Justin the young uncoordinated cheer leader wanna be (Justin Long) Gordon the odd overweight father of two (Stephen Root)  and many more.

Peter runs the gym with the reckless abandon of a mega millions lottery winner. Meaning he doesn't really pay attention to the finer points of running a business...like paying mortgage, collecting dues, etc. Peter is served notice by his bank that his mortgage is about to defaulted on and he is about to lose his gym.

Bad news for Peter, but good news for White Goodman (Ben Stiller) owner and operator of Globo Gym. Think any major fitness club...on steroids! White is looking to purchase the little gym across the street and the only thing that can stop him is Peter and his crew of wacky gym members coming up with $50,000 in about a month.

Through this whole process we are introduced  to Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor).. Kate is assigned by the bank to make sure that the Globo Gym acquisition of Average Joe's goes smoothly. It's obvious from the start that she like Peter. It's also obvious that she's repulsed by White. In what is one of my favorite lines in the movie Kate's response to a White come on is, "Actually, I threw up a little in my mouth."--comedy gold!


When the idea of holding a car wash to raise money fails miserably there is only one thing the guys can do. Play competitive dodgeball. How does one learn about competitive dodgeball you ask? (and thank you for asking) It seems Gordon is a fan of obscure sports, hey he gets the magazine! All the team has to do is beat a local girl scout troop in the local regional qualifier and they are on their way to Vegas. They get their collective asses handed to them. Thankfully one of the scouts failed her pre-match drug test!

With the help of former ADAA (American DodgeBall Associationn of America) Superstar, Patches O'Houlihan the team is whipped into shape prior to their televised matches at the World Championship of Dodge ball on ESPN 8 "The Ocho". An event so great it's billed as, "Better than the World Cup, World Series and World War II combined!" With such wisdom as,. "If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball." and "if you can dodge a car, you can dodge a ball". Patches gets this motley crew in shape. Well, he gets them in shape once Kate joins the team.

From there you get some good hardcore dodgeball action. The teams competing in Vegas remind me of what would happen if WWE wrestlers mixed it up with your local Roller Derby Queens.

You round out the cast with a cameo from David Hasselhoff as the coach of the German team. Gary Cole and Jason Bateman as the announcers from ESPN "Ocho", and brief appearances by Hank Azaria, William Shatner, Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong. Overall you get about 92 minutes of slapstick comedy at it's finest.

For full effect make sure you watch the special features with out takes and deleted scenes. Pay close attention to the separate feature on Justin Long. basically it's a five minute gag reel of him getting pummelled with dodge balls! You really can't go wrong with abuse like that!

Stiller is amazing in most everything he does. Movies like Permanent Midnight, Keeping the Faith and The Royal Tenenbaums showed he had dramatic chops along with the ability to be a comic actor. The fact that he and Christine Taylor are married makes the scenes they have together that much funnier.

If you're looking for a way to relax and laugh for an hour and half you could do a lot worse than Dodgeball.

Storage Wars

Storage Wars, "The Best Storage Show on Television"

I mocked this show for so long. I couldn't fathom the purpose or how anyone could/would/should have interest in this show.

Concept: If you rent a storage locker and don't pay your rent for a certain amount of time then the business can auction off the contents of your locker to the highest bidder to recoup their losses.

Bring in a few regulars, who have cash to burn and (in some cases) thrift store shelves to fill, and let them bid on the contents. The catch is that you can't open boxes, move things or enter the locker until you are the owner. Some times you lose out and find nothing but garbage (my luck if I did this). Or you can score a ton of cool crap.

The other day there was a marathon that got me sucked in the same way that Antique Roadshow has a hold on me when its on the tube. The first item I see a guy pull out is a tiny piano that looks like a toy. Turns out it was a highly collectible salesman sample piano from like 1928 that has a value of about $12,000. This damn thing was in the back of the unit, in a box. The rest of the unit was useless remnants of a beauty salon.

Other times find cash or baseball cards or collectible flare guns. Did you even know that people collected flare guns?

Like with any reality/non-scripted show you have many characters. There's Barry the collector. Barry is the funny one...he reminds me a lot of Joe Walsh for some reason. Jarrod and his wife Brandi are the "young guns". they are in it to keep the shelves of their thrift store stocked to keep the family afloat. You then have the constant personality clashes between Darrell who's been buying lockers for 20+ years and the "villain" of the show David.

David is the guy who will bid you up just to watch you squirm. He is also the guy who shows up bragging about the fact that he has $10,000 in cash to burn. He'll buy a locker just to spite someone. Usually this happens at the expense of Jarrod and Brandi who usually only have a few thousand to spend. What I am trying to say is that he is the dick of the show.

I only have one suggestion to make the show more interesting. Blind bidding. No on gets to look inside the locker. You just know the size of the locker and a rough estimate of how many free space there is left. That would inject a level of chance that isn't currently available. Sure, now you can't see everything that is in every box. But, you can make some educated guesses. This would be great! Plus I think it would lead to some better steals.

I'd like to say this was a one time thing and that it will never happen again. But, it probably will. Not sure if I will set my dvr to record the series...but I will watch again.

My (planned) Summer Vacation

Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the large sums of money this will cost me.



My buddy Ryan called me up about a month ago to find out what my plans were for this summer. Seems he was going to be heading to Europe with his wife and would have a ton of free time on his hands while she did her scholarly things during the day.

His plan was that I schedule a summer trip to Amsterdam and meet up with them to finally enjoy the little European vacation we were supposed to have before our final year of college!

That trip was scheduled since he was studying abroad at in Sunderland, England. I was excited to go and started making plans only to be Euro-blocked by Illinois State University.  Seems that one class I would need for my major coursework was only going to be offered as a summer class...so Europe would have to wait.

If it ended there I probably wouldn't be dwelling on it almost 10 years later. But, the fun really can two weeks before I was supposed to have left for England. I got a call from the university telling me that there wasn't enough interest in the summer class so the four students who it really affected were going to be given the option of taking the class next semester along with the upper level class it was a pre-requisite for. Needless to say one can not properly get their shit together for a European trip in two weeks. Especially when you don't have a passport at the time!

With that I missed out on Stonehenge (the greatest henge in the world), all things Beatles, and a host of other bits of awesome. So, having been presented with the option to recapture a missed opportunity of my youth I said yes.

Actually I think my exact words were closer to F--K yes! But, why squabble with the details! So here I sit almost a month into the new year and it's time to work on a plan.

I think it's gonna go a little something like this:

1) Get passport -- Important first step in any travel plans that involve leaving the US

2) Find out exact dates that Ryan and his loverly wife will be in Amsterdam.

3) Figure out flight plans....

     3a) save almost all of my tax return money to help pay for decent flight package to and from

4) Start working on ideas for what to do when in Amsterdam.

     --While I think there is enough to do in Amsterdam I would also like to branch out a little using the city as my base of operations for the (hopefully) two week trip.

5) get my mind right to start working mad overtime to save up cash for this trip. I should also throw in a prayer for the US dollar gain some strength overseas!

So I am sure that this plan will grow and evolve as the year goes on. Would love to take a train ride into Paris for a day. But, at just over four hours and a few hundred bucks may have to settle for something a little closer. Amsterdam to Brussels and then Brussels to London seems to be about the same.

Plans come and plans go...but my homies stay eternal...wait...where did that come from? What I was trying to say is that while I hope and pray that this vacation comes to life in it's current form. I do plan on traveling somewhere this summer. So, if things fall through to Amsterdam for some reason maybe I'll just have to adjust my destination to London or someplace else, maybe later in the year when it's a little cheaper!!

All I know is that I am currently geared up the summer adventure I missed out on almost 10 years ago. In some way it will happen.

Movie Review -- Slither (2006)

Slither -- as if the world needed one more example of why Nathan Fillion is awesome...here it is!

As slap stick horror films go this one is in third place on my all time favorite list. No. 1 - Evil Dead, No. 2 - Shaun of the Dead, No. 3 - Slither.

Nathan Fillion stars as Bill Pardy, chief of police in a small town who soon has to deal with an alien invasion that is essentially turning the town folk into mindless zombies.

The fun starts when the sexually frustrated Grant Grant (played by Michael Rooker), after being shut down by his wife, goes for a walk with a townie who picked him up in the local bar. While stumbling home through the woods they come across a giant slimy egg/meteor. It would seem that from that point forward the least of his problems would be having two first names!

Grant Grant gets infected and becomes the fleshy epicenter of rest of the movie.

Like with most zombie comedies, of recent memory any way,  there's a romantic sub-plot. Seems that Chief Pardy has been carrying a torch for Grant Grant's wife Starla (played by Elizabeth Banks) for a long time. As the bugs slowly start to turn Grant and other town's folk into mindless zombies, or worse in some cases. Pardy teams up with his deputies, a local girl who was able to escape being turned and the foul mouthed town Mayor Jack McReady (Gregg Henry).

McReady's expletive laced out bursts paired with Pardy's spot on dead pan make for some comic gold. Thrown in a rant on no Mr. Pibb  in the middle of an alien take over. An attack by a zombie deer. And more disgusting slug like aliens than you can throw a hand grenade at and you have the makings of a classic.

Fillion has always been a favorite of mine. From his days on Two Guys, a Girl & a Pizza Place (a show so old that I forgot he was on it!) to Caleb the secondary big bad of season 7 of Buffy, the short lived Firefly and now as the title character on ABC's hit show Castle. Fillion brings a sense of humor and charm to each and every role that makes you care...no matter how silly the role.

If an alien/zombie/comedy/romance/action/horror film plays to your taste...you need to watch this film.

Simon Sez (1999)

Simon Sez -- Simon Sez....watch it all, if you can!

Now, this isn't so much going to be a review of the movie as it will be a look back on a film that should never have been made. Really, what was some studio exec thinking when this got pitched, approved, made and then distributed?

Staring basketball superstar Denis Rodman (it was 1999 remember) and comedian Dane Cook, before he was the crazy stand up star that he is today. This movie is BAD. Not bad as in bad ass...or bad as in good...but rather it is Bad as in NOT GOOD!

Who would have thought that Rodman's supporting role in the 1997 Jean-Claude Van Damme movie Double Team would lead to his character, Simon, getting his own movie? Raise your hand if you saw that one coming. Now take a step back into line and stop lying to yourself that you knew this was coming.

What you get in Simon Sez is a mix of bad dialogue, good fight scenes, crappy special effects, and half hearted attempts at comedy from Dane Cook and John Pinnette (who I actually liked here for some reason). Honestly I'm so unmotivated to re-watch this film to properly give a plot outline that I am going to just steal it from IMDB: A tattooed Interpol agent helps an old classmate find the kidnapped daughter of a computer software tycoon.

In case anyone was wondering...re-watching the movie is totally an option. In case you don't believe me...I submit this picture as proof. My DVD collection is vast and from time to time I have some really bad movies that I seem to love.

Simon Sez is one of those films. For some reason, I still can't put my finger on it, I still like this movie. With all its short comings this should be relegated to the 2 for $5 bin at your local store. It should stay there until they have an everything must go sale and make that bin down to 5 for $5.  I actually think that's how I got this copy.

This would fall in line with Hudson Hawk, Young Einstein (Yahoo Serious), Howard the Duck, and the greatest film I own....Leonard Part 6 (Bill Cosby) as movies that I have no right to like as much as I do. Really I wouldn't hold it against you if you judged me by that list. But, somewhere there has to another person who likes those same films, right?