Next Year is Here

PLAYBALL!!!

We Named the Dog Indiana....

Thank God my Hero is Back.....May 22nd

Almost There!!!

Almost time to sit back relax and watch the Cubs...and anything else that may catch your eye at the game!

As of this exact minute...T-Minus 14 hrs 15min and counting....

WooT!

D-Bag of the Week...Pt. 2

Allen Beckett...your time as D-Bag of the week is over. It's been a good run (of a day) but sadly a recount was held and you lost.

You will get to keep your (non-existant) award and a * will appear by your name on the list of past winners...but the official title will pass to another.

For the first time we have a repeat winner!!!

I am excited to announce that, for the second week in a row, Kory McFarren is my Douche Bag of the week.

Apparently Kory felt the need to revisit some of his new friends in law enforcement. Not having the time to let another woman have her ass grow around a toilet seat Kory decided to jump right to lewd and lascivious behavior.

The Associated Press is reporting that McFarren, "allegedly exposed himself to a neighbor's teenage daughter and her friends."

Congrats on picking up the Silver Douche award...one more and you get to have the award cast in Gold!

I Have a DREAM...

Well maybe not a dream so much...but I do have spell check!

D-Bag of the Week!

This week I only had to read a few articles before I came across a guy who I felt was worthy of taking home the grand prize.



Never before have I even considered a member of any church for this award. But, times they are a changing.

Now before you think you know who I am talking about....you probably don't.

As a guy it should be painfully obvious why Allen Beckett, Church Deacon, from Oklahoma City picked up the award....HERE

I realize that he is a Church Deacon..but at some point in his 53 years on this Earth someone must have told him that there are things you just don't do during a fight...FOR ANY REASON!

WTF??

How do I best put this?

WHAT THE HELL????

Get Smart...

Woot!

Fun Stuff...

Nothing Earth shattering here...just surfing the world of news at 3am and came across this story.

Seems the Federal Government of THE United States of America may finally be one step closer to finding D.B. Cooper.

For those of you who don't know...D.B. Pissed off Uncle Sam when, way back in 1971, he was able to jump out of a plane with $200,000.

Seems the FBI has been hounding his possibly dead/possibly alive ass for the last 37 years....tax money hard at work!

Less than a week!

The official start of the baseball season may actually be in just under 12 hours with the Oakland and Boston game in Japan...

But, the real start to the season is in just over a week when the Cubs take on the Brewers in Chicago (1:20 central)

Go Cubbies!!!

Video Games and Cartoons...

While I have been thinking G.I. Joe for most of the afternoon...I almost forgot about another movie that I am looking forward to...METAL GEAR SOLID: The MOVIE!

I still remember cutting class back in College to stand in line at Best Buy to buy my copy of Metal Gear Solid for the ps2! Ah, those were the days.

Looks like according to MGSMOVIECHRONICLE the directing honors may be heading the way of Kurt Wimmer who directed Equalibrium.

Only time will tell how badass this movie will be...but if it can surpass some of the fan films on YouTube look out.....

General Hawk...

Say hello to Dennis "General Hawk" Quaid!

Hello!

BAMF!!

Now that my NCAA brackets are totally Fracked up I have turned my attention to more pressing matters...like the continuing cycle of reliving my youth.

First it was Transformers now it's G.I. Joe....

Coming to a theatre near you, August 7th 2009!

First up...costume shot for Snake Eyes...BAMF!!

If this movie is even half as cool as this photo I think I will be in heaven. As of now most of the cast is in place and there are some choices that I love!

First and foremost is my favorite villian in the COBRA corps.....DESTRO. Welcome Christopher Eccelston (Dr.WHO) I can't express how much I love this casting! Eccelston I think can bring the chops and the sarcastic wit to a dark character!

For a full list, and a discussion board to boot check this out.

My only problem at this point is that there is no actor...or character for that matter...listed for Shipwreck! The greatest of all comic relief characters in the G.I. Joe Universe!

Can't wait for this one to hit the Cinema....too bad the wait is over a year!!

D-Bag of the Week

Well, after much consideration we finally have a winner for this weeks D-Bag award. And the winner is.....

Kory McFarren, age 37, of Ness City, Kansas!!

Not sure if you have heard of Kory and his douche worthy deed (other than spelling his name with a K)? Well, I would venture to guess that not only have you heard his story...but you have probably already called him a giant D-Bag!

Seems Kory is the loving boyfriend of the woman who sat on the toilet so long that he skin actually grew AROUND THE TOILET SEAT!!

Did Kory think of getting help? NO....He just brought her food!

On top of this award, Kory has also been charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult.

Way to go Kory!!

Almost forgot....

In case you don't want your boss (or spouse) knowing you visited the Girls Gone Wild website they have the best tag I have ever seen.

"Ashley rode the GGW Bus long before she rode the former Gov. of New York."

Classic!

Spitzer's Girl "Gone Wild"

Hard to believe that there was even a chance that "Girls Gone Wild" in the miles of tape they had shot would have someone as famous as Ashley Dupre on tape.

Having a hard time putting a face to the name (look below)? This post's title not enough of a hint for you? Well follow the link to the girls gone wild website...of head over to the tamer, more work safe TMZ website.

The part I find funny is that Joe Francis was offering her $1,000,000.00 to show up and just be a 'host"....until a staffer asked if anyone had checked to see if they already had her on tape!

If I was that staffer....and God I wish I was...I would be thinking that a nice Easter bonus should be instore. I would be all, "Joe...I just saved you a MILLION dollars...how about a little extra scratch in the paycheck this month?" I wouldn't be asking for much...$50,000.00 is a nice round number and the company still comes out $950,000.00 ahead!

But, that's just me.

Give the Man a Donut (ring)

So, while it's not as bad as Felix Pie and his Twisted Testical....Kaz Matsui's injury reads a lot worse...

The Houston Chronicle reports that Kaz Matsui underwent surgery Monday to repair an anal fissure, and he's expected to open the season on the 15-day disabled list.

Thanks to Wikipedia: An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation. The tear usually extends from the anal opening and located posteriorly in the midline. This location is probably because of the relatively unsupported nature of the anal wall in that location.

So...Pie has his testicle sewn to the inner lining of his scrotum and he is going to miss five days. But, an "anal fissure" is two weeks! Now that I look back at the Wiki entry...gotta say...I still think I would rather have Testicular Torsion...

Sorry Man!

While My Guitar Gently Weeps...

I HEART Rock Band!

Harold and Kumar 2

Finally a movie worth paying to see!

Because I am all about the folllow up!

Episode II: Zombie kid grows up

I like Turtles....

Thank you You Tube!

D-Bag of the Week

When I used to see this face in the national news all I could think was, "what a d-bag!"

Now, all I can think is..."what a d-bag...who LOVES the whores!"

Elliott Spitzer, come on down...you are the newest winner of the illustrious "D-Bag of the Week Award"

Seriously, the business of the governor's of other states usually doesn't make a dent on my radar. Seems that Illinois' Gov. Rod Blagojevich has done enough to keep my attention at home.

But, when you throw in a federal probe and a boat load of high priced hookers...I take notice.

I think that the day this story broke, Gov. Blagojevich decided to take a nap. Since finally there was a bigger screw up in office somewhere!

On a fun side note: Since Spitzer was forced to resign, Lt. Gov. David Patterson becomes New York's first black governor....and he's legally blind! There's a feel good story for ya!

LOST! Now what?

So I have finally made it through the second season of Lost! Now the only thing that is going through my head is, "do I want to stay awake for another three hours to watch another disc?"

Not a good dilema to have at 2 am!

Still so many questions!!! At this pace, and with the weekend off, I should be current by next weeks episode. I can't wait to be able to talk to people about the show! Or, at the least, visit a few websites!!

New Tv Returns...

Well..next week we finally start to get new episodes of some old favorites! Plus we also get to the second season of my all time favorite FX show (that isn't: Rescue Me or The Shield)... The Riches!

Seems the Eddie Izzard/Minnie Driver series sees its triumphant retun to the airwaves next Tuesday!

Thank you FX for making great TV!! Woot!

Sports Injuries

So my recent post on Felix Pie and his ... um ... unfortunate injury got me thinking of other "great' sports injuries.

Now we aren't talking about your line drives off the face, or fast balls to the balls (John Kruk aside...what a strange way to find out you have testicular cancer by the way). No here we are going to focus on the strange, the odd, the downright dumb ass reasons that some Pro Athletes have missed games.

Some of my personal favorites are:

Tigers Pitcher Joel Zumaya -- missed three post season games after straining his wrist playing a little too much Guitar Hero!

Sammy Sosa -- Missed a Sunday game with the Cubs due to a sneeze (granted it was more the back spasms that the sneeze brought on!)

Jeff Kent -- "Fell off his Truck"...actually pulling a Kellen Winslow. (Stunt riding his motorcycle in a parking lot!)

Adam Eaton -- Didn't know this one until I started looking on the net...seems he got himself a one way trip to the ER after stabbing himself in the abdomen...trying to open a DVD.

Gus Frerotte -- Missed playing time with a concussion...after he laid down a massive hit...on himself. Seems he was a little excited following a TD. Frerotte decided to celebrate a Washington Redskins TD by running head first (on purpose) into a wall at the back corner of the end zone! Brilliant!

back to baseball...

Clint Barmes -- During his rookie season with the Colordo Rockies he, fell down the stairs and broke his collarbone. At first he told the club he had a sack of food in his hands...what he really had was a slab of deer meat given to him by Todd Helton. Oops!

John Smoltz -- On of the greatest pitchers of all time... and maybe not that bright a bulb. He once burned himself while ironing a shirt. Apparently Smoltz was wearing the shirt at the time

For a list of these and other injuries check out:

ArmchairGM
Strange Sports

also check out the photo gallery tribute to Odd injuries at Sports Illustrated

Nuts!

Felix Pie....all I can say is, sorry man!

The Cubs center fielder is going to miss 3-5 days, according to a Chicago Tribune article.

The worst part is that it seems the injury that will keep him out for almost week is... gulp...

Testicular (balls) Torsion (twisted).

That's right, Pie will be out with a twisted testicle! Now, as my sister put it, how does one actually twist a testicle?

Oh, and I lied...the worst part is actually the "minor procedure" done to correct the issue.

Doctor's had to actually, "sew the outer layer of the testicle to the scrotum wall."

Again....Sorry!!

Too Much Time/Money Equals????

The most worthless tattoo in the world!

Dude got breast implants for his tat!

I'm just saying!

Hey Bubba...

So I got a call from my loving sister last week...not really that strange, we talk alot. But, this call had a purpose.

Debi: "Hey, you're never going to belive what WGN is running ever morning now?!"

ME: "What?"

Debi: "Nash Bridges!!!"

ME: "No Way!"

Basically it goes on in short bursts like that for a while...but that was the meat of the conversation for purposes of here!

Nash Bridges...one of my all time favorite cop drama's is back on TV.

Once it went off the air I was always shocked that it didn't get a heavy rotation of syndication or a DVD release.

I think it was the combination of the action and comedy aspects of this show that has allowed it to stick in my head.

Joe's (Cheech Marin) get rich quick schemes were priceless...including, among the many..the time he bought into part ownership of a bar he had never seen...his partner died...and he finds out that the dive bar is actually a Gay Nightclub Hotspot!

Cheech's outright comedy played well off of Don Johnson's dry wit.

After watching a few episodes the other day I suddenly wanted to bust out my copy of Tin Cup.

I could go on and on...but I won't..mostly because I need to take a break and watch another episode of Lost!

So if you remember the Don Johnson/Cheech Marin/Bright Yellow '71 Cuda action tune in EVERY DAY to WGN for two hours of Nashy goodness..

Oops...

Ok, so I missed my weekly deadline for the D-Bag of the week award yesterday. It just seems that since I have started watching Lost (started Saturday and I am now halfway through season 2) not a lot else has been getting done!

So in the place of the weekly D-Bag award...I have an honorable mention...

Earlier in the week, at work, I got a news release from the Illinois State Police that was pretty funny if you ask me.

So, in order to protect the innocent, or mildly retarded in this case, no names will be used....insert your favorite dumb friend into the story for a nice personal touch.

Seems that a driver was pulled over on I-57 South Bound near Paxton, IL. He was pulled over for being clocked going 138mph in a 65mph zone. A little fast, unless there is a phantom zone on the interstate system in Illinois that has a slightly higher speed zone than ANYWHERE else.

But, the speed isn't what is the best part...in the officers notes section it stated that: "when asked what the rush was, driver ________ responded with "I am on the way to Unofficial St. Patrick's day in Champaign!"

Nothing like telling a cop the reason you were speeding was so that you could get to drinking faster!

On the other hand, could have been worse had it been: "Well, officer, I was on my way BACK from Unofficial....and I really needed to get home fast!"

Of Polar Bears and Smoke Monsters...

An open letter to my friends who watch Lost:

I am Sorry!

I have, for years now, made fun of you! Wispered strange things about you and "your show"! I take it all back.

It seems that what started out as a vendetta to stay away from the new "it" show has led me to be about four years behind the curve. Usually, I feel I have made the right choice in situations like this in the past: All reality tv, American Idol, anything with a host who wasn't Regis Philbin, Bob Barker, or Drew Carey...for the most part I have stuck to my guns, and I was right!

But, here I have to digress and say in the immortal words of Denis Leary....oops! I fucked up! Please forgive me for my misguided ways! That being said...I am now officially scared to see any animal out of it's normal habitat. Polar Bears on a freakin' Tropical Island! Seriously what is more freaky that that I ask you? Maybe the paralyzed walking or a fat guy who, on a deserted island with little or no food, lose no weight ( P.S. I want to be Hurley! 156 Million aside).

So there you have it...I have officially become one of the Lost....rather than on of the "others"... and sadly I am not far enough into the series to know what that MEANS!!!

OK, Thanks go out to Chris for loaning me his first and third seasons! Levi for returning the second season to Chris just in time for him to loan it to me...Chris again for getting me season two in a timely fashion! And to Laryngitis, whithout which I am not sure I would have had the motivation to sit down and actually watch season one over the course of two days!

Again...I am sorry.

Yours,
James

P.S. This letter brought to you by the numbers: 4 8 15 16 23 and 42
(oddly...posted at 1:08pm!!)

WoW!! I'm Speechless (for a few reasons)

So, with the voice not back yet I decided to watch a ton of tv this weekend...thank you Chris for hookin' me on the Smack that is Lost!

And thank you PBS for introducing me to Tal Wilkenfeld, by way of Jeff Beck, by way of Eric Clapton's 2007 Crossroads Concert! By the way...she was 21 at the time of the concert...and girl can rip!

Grr...(cause that's all I can say!)

Right now I would have to say that I am really...REALLY hating Laryngitis! Not sure if it is the fact that I can't talk, swallow, go five minutes without coughing up a lung...or the fact that I am pretty much going to have to face the rest of the weekend in bed.

And not in the good way!

Haven't gone to the doc....but according to Healthscout.com it seems that once I hit the third day with no voice and a persistant cough/fever it is officially Laryngitis. The only real suprise to me was that I spelled Laryngitis right on the first go!