D-Bag of the Week

We have a pair who get to share this weeks award....and the nice part is that they also share the story too!

BOULDER, Colo. - It wasn't exactly pistols at 30 paces, but police say a security company supervisor and a restaurateur shot each other with Tasers in a "bonehead" confrontation over parking....full story.

On a funny note...this was found on azcentral in the "Buzz" section.

Pepsi Stuff...Here's your $90 DVD

I love promotions that have you save points to get "free" stuff....

Pepsi Stuff is the nuts right now! You can't compete with the combo of Pepsi and Amazon. Coke rewards has nothing on this combo.

Gotta love the fact that for ONLY 90 pepsi points you can get a DVD!! Or if you really want to stretch your points you can get a season of many TV shows on DVD...for ONLY 90 Points..

Let's examine the cost of your Free DVD:

90 points off of 20oz bottles (1pt each) 90 bottles X $1.30 each = $117
90 points off of 12 packs (2pts per pack) 45 12 packs X $3.00 each = $135
90 points off of 24 packs (4pts per pack) 23 24 packs X $7.00 each (on sale!) = $168

Regular priced DVD $24.99 (on the HIGH side)
Regular priced TV on DVD $53.99 (general price)

So...I get the fact that these "FREE" prizes are set to help you get something out of drinking the products that Pepsi rolls out the points on....but that is kinda sick. And this is coming from a guy who is sitting on 560 pepsi points....you do the math!

Would you like fries with that?

Coming soon to a Things JK Eats Blog near you....I DARE YOU!! For the record this is the Burger King on North Prospect in Champaign, IL.

Tyler...you have to thank your Aunt (or whoever sent you this)!!

You got Knocked the F-ck out!

My guess is that Suge Knight was dumb enough to ask this "barber" for the old Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57 Fade and that's what got him the ass whoopin' earlier in the week.

But seriously...who the Frack thinks its a good idea to cold cock Suge "Mutha Phukin' " Knight. I can't tell you a lot about the state of Hip Hop these days...and "The Row" isn't what it used to be...but seriously!

Somewhere, behind a locked door...with the lights out...under the covers...still sitting in his own urine...Vanilla Ice is laughing.

***Wiki entry...It was widely reported that Van Winkle had been threatened and assaulted by Death Row Records CEO Marion "Suge" Knight, who had demanded that royalties for "Ice Ice Baby" be paid to Mario "Chocolate" Johnson, a Dallas rapper and former associate of Knight who claimed that he had co-written the single.

The story is that assault included being hung upside down off of a 15th story balcony...who's laughing now!***

Can you Hear me now?

Damn...I want to know what cell service this guy had?

Turns out he was arrested when his Southwest flight landed in Dallas....because he wouldn't get off his cell phone...while the plane was in flight! Ironically, "Jones did not immediately return a phone call from The Associated Press seeking comment."

I can't get a signal in my freaking basement sometimes and this jack ass is getting mid flight service?! Hope he had nationwide roaming!

I survived the weekend...

Granted I didn't have a whole lot of doubt about making it through. But, It was more eventful than I thought it would be...by that I mean I actually did something...one day!

GO CUBS!!

Really there was only one minor near death experience on the way home from the game. But, that was the cars fault! We were undecided on Wendy's or White Castle....and the passenger seat made a split second decision!!

I have to say that I love driving in downtown Chicago...esecially when I am not the one doing the driving.

The one thing I realized is that there is one job, hands down, that I would never take....Window washer on a high rise!

Those guys are Fracking Nuts!

Must say that is a job I would rather leave to someone else!

I tried to see how many washers were out as we drove down Lakeshore Drive on the way to Wrigley..and the answer was...Too Many.

I would love to know what the actual statistics are on the number of window washers who have to be saved by the Chicago Fire Department each year!

I have a feeling that the number is staggering!

Once we finally got to Wrigley I decided to jump past the line to get you picture taken with Speed Racer (had it been Speed Buggy I may have stopped) to jump right to the "Mr. Cub" Ernie Banks statue.

My only regret is that I didn't head over to the other side of the park and snag of shot of the Harry Carey statue!

Not too bad a shot seeing as it was taken (as were all these photos) with my iphone. Great device....crappy camera! No zoom...no Video...but it serves its purpose!

Once we got inside, I have to say, I didn't think I was going to enjoy the game too much since I seats were WAY under the overhang.

Usually I like to sit in the Bleechers or down by the field. But, these seats were actually pretty good. Would have been great if the rain had come in...instead it was just BALLS COLD!

Nothing like baseball on May 9th in Chicago when the wind chill is 48 degrees. Wouldn't have been a problem if I had more than 20minutes notice that I was going to the game. Thank God I wore a long sleeve button up that day!

If I had any patience I would have stitched those together and try to make a better shot of the field...but I am too lazy to even attempt that!

Gotta say it was a great day at the ball park...Cubs won, I didn't freeze (or spend $100 on a hoodie) and Kerry Wood looked awesome in the 9th.

Finally two of my favorite shots at the ballpark...the first is Iconic ... Welcome to Wrigley!

Shot two is of the start of the line of smokers...who obviously don't believe the No Smoking sign applies to them...if there was a bounty on Smoking Ban violators...Wrigley would be the place to hang out!

It's not clear...but the No Smoking sign is right there on the pillar to the left of the guys head... either he can't read, or he doesn't care. I like to think he is stupid and can't read!

Cubs update!!

D.Lee home run to help put the Cubs up 3-1 bottom of the 8th. Gotta love this game! Great game..as long as the Cubs don't blow it in the 9th

Final game update via twitter. This live blogging is killing my iPhone battery.

Cubs...are killing me

Still plenty of time left in this one but these bums are really killing me. Oh and did I mention that it is about 52 with a good stiff breeze? This really doesn't feel like MAY! Cubs are now up 2-1 top of 7

cubs update

three innings in and the cubs are down 1-0. But, on the bright side I just had ballpark frank and an old style... Goodbye $10.00

Go Cubs Go

On the road to see the Cubs and Diamondbacks at Wrigley. What a nice surprise after the week I've had at work.

Guess I will try to live blog from the game.

I'm a Whore...

I really am a whore for whatever seems to be the new IT thing (as long as it won't cost me an arm and a leg).

When looking for a new car I was looking for a few things:

1) Great Gas Milage

2) Cool Factor (for a decent price)

3) Fun add ons

So I went with a 2008 Ford Focus 30+ MPG, decent price and look, Microsoft SYNC system and a free iphone!

When it came time get into gaming I had to grab the xbox 360 (which was the pimp shit at the time) but, I had to wait until I could get a great deal through Microsoft!

I have successfully upgraded my Ipod everytime a new model has come out...(sucker for apple).

Now I have jumped on the new blog fad...TWITTER. Not really 100% sure how committed I am to using it...but it could come in handy should I ever find myself thrown into an Egyptian jail.

Better to be safe than sory I guess!

D-Bag of the Week...

Well, really this is long over due...and by long I mean it should have been the day after the story broke last month! But, none the less we have a man who, in my opinion, beats out the guy who let his girlfriends ass grow around the toilet seat.

I can only be speaking of one man... Josef Fritz

AKA: Incest Dad (CNN.COM's title...not mine)

If you have no idea who I am talking about here is the short version of his story: He decided to tell his wife that their 18 year old daughter ran off to join a cult (or some such rubbish) when she was, in fact, locked up in the basement where he was keeping her as a love slave...and fathering seven kids with her! Nuff Said.

Congrats Josef...you are officially king of all Douche bags (probably never to be topped!).

TV Quote....

Not sure why this quote makes me laugh so much! But, here is the quote that keeps me laughing over and over right now!

"Ugh...it's going to take a shoebox full of blow to get me through this dreck."

I have to laugh my ass evetime I watch this episode...Just thought I would share..

I saw the sign (and it cracked my ass up)

Really, this is just more proof that Nash Bridges is one of the coolest shows of all time.

It is a little darker than I would like..but the sign says: Need Money for Pot, Booze, and Hookers, atleast I'm honest!

Somthing Wicked (haaard) This Way Comes...

***Please read title of blog with a strong Boston accent for max effect***

When hanging out downtown Champaign you never know what...or who you will run into!

Too much fun...

So I just had the chance to do something that I have always wanted to do....rip my father, Don Shields, a new one in public! But, in a good way!

Pops is retiring from teaching at the end of this year and the teachers thought it would be a good idea to have me "Roast" him during the teachers development day today! I had a great time...and even better...I got it on tape!

Not sure how long I went..but if I can get it on my computer I may have to post it here so that everyone who had my dad as a teacher/coach can enjoy!

D-Bag of the Week

Hey Gary, this week the D-Bag finger is pointing straight at you!

Last week you decided to jump ship from one, if not the, most successful shows on TV.

Now I can understand a want to branch out. Good Luck with that man!

But, this week you seem to have out done yourself.

In the past it has just been assaulting paparazzi....or just being caught sounding stupid by TMZ. But, this time you have gone far enough to be the new "winner" of the week. CNN.com, along with TMZ and other outlets, are reporting that Gary "Don't Call me Warrick" Dourdan, was arrested by Palm Springs Police for, "possession of narcotics and dangerous drugs".

The laundry list of drugs includes: Heroin, Coke, Ecstacy, miscellaneous prescription drugs and paraphernalia....really he is just a hooker girlfriend away from being Tom Sizemore!

It would appear that it is no longer safe to sleep in you car, parked on the wrong side of the street, with the lights on, after a long night drinking and packing tons of drugs. Damn the man for keeping you down Gary

Good luck with your life after CSI! Maybe you can use the excuse that you were doing some research for an upcoming role and see if that gets you out of jail.

D-Bag of the week (Last week anyway)

Again, in a case of better late then never we have last weeks winner.

I alway love stories like this that prove that even the dumbest person you know is a little smarter than this guy.

A 19 year-old was arraigned Thursday on a charge of aggravated robbery and ordered held on $50,000 bond....but for the real fun read the story out of Cleveland.

In my honest opinion I say you just keep driving...but that's just me!

New (old) sex tapes...

Seems like as long as video cameras have been around...someone has been filming the act of sex...

Pam and Tommy Lee, Pam and Vince Neil, Paris, Rob Lowe, Tonya Harding (vomit)...and a never ending string of at home porn "stars".

But, seems the tapes go a little further back than just the last decade. The New York Post a few weeks back reported that a tape of Marilyn Monroe giving head to an unidentified man (rumored to be JFK) sold at auction for $1.5 million.

Now it seems TMZ along with the Associated Press are reporting that a new celebrity sex tape has surfaced. This time the star is from the world of music....

Drumroll please....and excuse me while I kiss the sky...

Jimi Hendrix's clothes have left the building...but it seems he kept his headband on....gotta stay real I guess!

testing ...

just a test...blogging on the fly! Fun

WTF???

Here is a story too good not to share:

Florida considers ban on Ornamental Testicles

Have to say thanks to my sister Debi for sending me the link to that story!

I don't want to ruin the surprise..but incase you are more of a visual type person...here

Is that an iphone on your hip?

Really this is just me bragging..but I finally got my iphone in the mail last friday. Seems that buying a 2008 Ford Focus has its benefits...great SYNC system, 30+ mpg, oh..and a free iphone!

Three days into ownership of the phone and I have already forgotten about my 8gb ipod touch..not getting rid of the touch..but not using it a lot either!

A few of my (least) favorite things..

Windows 2000 -- not sure why, but it is a giant pain in my ass right now!

Computers in general -- pretty sure it has to do with the fact that I have been dealing with two major crashes at work in the last two weeks.

Now I remember why I hate Windows 2000...no support, no recovery disks for a product that is almost 9 years old...and when it fails...it is final!

Radio station is running on spit and duct tape right now. Knock on wood everything should hold together until our engineer gets back for the hard drive repair!

Nash MF Bridges..

I don't understand a lot of the voice over...but I did catch the line, "Don Johnson is THE Man" gotta love that!

It's On...

I really hate myself right now. It has been a screwed up week to say the least!

Friday, my great aunt Barb died, and the computer at work Crashed AGAIN.

Monday, Audio Card on the Sat. system at the Radio Station died...AGAIN.

Tuesday-Now, Scott Studio system has a full on system crash!

To make matters worse I have to work tonight.

For the past three and a half years that wasn't a big deal...but now I have to kick around at work pretending to care about what is going on...just so I can run home and hope that I can download the new Episode of Lost (since I forgot to set my DVR).

It's a strange feeling to not care about a show for four years then being all pissed that I am going to have to wait a few extra hours to watch said show! I guess I will have to fill my time with a little Nash Bridges! lol...

New Cub same as the old Cub?

Sitting here at the radio station with the Cubs -vs- Mets game on mute...looked up and thought, "wow! that guy looks a lot like Sammy Sosa!"

Sure enough it was Slammin' Sammy himself sitting in the first few rows behind the Cubs (I believe) dugout.

My only question is does this have any deeper, darker meaning? Could the Cubs be looking to add another power bat? Would they dare screw with team chemestry to bring back Sosa?

GOD I HOPE NOT!

The Way Home...

New addiction...same as the old addiction (with a twist)!

Since I finally got caught up on Lost last week I decided that I needed something to take up the six hour slot I had been using for Lost...so what does a guy do? He drops $40 on a new xbox game.

So, I ran out and scooped up a copy of Lost: Via Domus (the way home)

Overall I would rate it an okay game so far. The one problem I have with it is that the amount of load screens is obscene! A better flow on the game would make it 10 times better. But, for a fan of the show it is not a bad game.

Well worth the cash to help fill the downtime between episodes.

Politics, Politics, Politics...

For those lucky few living across the pond, who don't have to deal with the level of political farce that we in the states deal with, this one's for you.

Sometime in the near future you may have the honor of being represented by MP Eddie Izzard! Do you hear that? It's European politics getting a little more interesting.

Just for Laughs...

Tommy Tiernan....good stuff..just found out about him via browsing the DVD shelves at Best Buy!

D-Bag of the Week...

Felony damage to property usually isn't enough to merit mention here..but if you do it with a little flair?

Such is the case of Jeremy McIntosh...

"McCabe said McIntosh was wearing "facial makeup, lipstick, blue Capri pants, red 'flip-flops,' a flowery blouse and a matching flowery women's bra." McIntosh told deputies he is homeless and wanted to go to jail because he had nowhere else to go."

So he applied for a job at Detroit lingerie store...was denied...and then drove his car though the front of the store.

So this whole ordeal makes me wonder? How does he have money for make-up, a whole outfit, and more importantly...GAS MONEY?

Broke Trek

I couldn't help myself....this was just too damn funny!

Indiana Jones 4 (the alternate version)

Hard to believe they had time to film two different movies.....one of which will never be seen on the big screen...here is the trailer! Enjoy HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Pope has landed...

Now that the Pope has landed in the United States and is meeting with President Bush it begs the question....

"Will Bush ask to try on the Pope's funny hat?"

OK...now I'm LOST..

I really hate myself right now! I decided to take matters into my own hands and get caught up on season four of LOST prior to this weeks new episode....

Only one tiny problem...this weeks episode isn't new! Now I have to wait a full eleven days until the goodness returns.

On the bright side I can now have a conversation about the show with people who have recently decided that they weren't going to talk LOST until I was up-to-date!

To this point of the season I have a few observation: Everything cool about almost everything can, in one form or another, trace back to LOST.

Case in point...Nash Bridges!

Now you may be asking yourself how does a bad (ass) late 90's cop drama connect to LOST...well the answer is two fold. First, and most obviously, is Cheech Marin! Who starred with Don Johnon on Nash Bridges, and had a guest star turn as Hurley's dad....

Second, and more impressivly, is Carlton Cuse, who was a writter and executive producer on both shows! That's right...one of the brilliant minds behind LOST is also one of the Brilliant minds behind Nash Bridges ... Gotta love that!

Point Two...LOST and Air Force One (and Nash Bridges)

Andrew Divoff....he's been playing movie badasses for a long time and I can't help of think that if they feel the need to extend the Die Hard franchise he would be a perfect fit...oh and did I mention he is going to be in the new Indiana Jones movie?

Point Three -- every other fantastic Guest Star...just a few of my favorites:

Zoe Bell -- Small part so far...but she kicked total ass in Death Proof

Billy Dee Williams -- again very small part...but he was playing Billy Dee "Freakin" Williams

Nathan Fillion -- Buffy, Firefly and LOST...my new hero!

Sonya Walger -- Who I first fell in love with while watching Librarian: Quest for the Spear, and I even like her in the American version of Coupling (Abomination that it was)

Jon Gries -- I still want to see The Pretender back on TV in reruns (so I don't have to buy yet another TV series!)

Jeff Fahey -- Enough bad movies to choke a horse (and Nash Bridges too)

Great writing, great acting, and an agonizing Title sequence...Grrr...the good news is that NBC has added an extra Hour to the seson finale. Story

TV's Longest 12 Seconds

Lost's opening title sequence has to be the longest 12 seconds in television!

Watching the DVD's I can't help but fast forward at this point....it's just slows down the viewing TOO much.

On the bright side...after tonight I will be able to start season four on Sunday and should be up-to-date when the next new episode hits!

D-Bag of the Week...

For this weeks winner we have to revist a story from earlier this year....that story is the death of Heath Ledger.

Back in February the "drug video" hit the internet, after several networks were pressured into not running it. That move, in my opinion did more harm than good.

The rumors were rampant: "Huge Hollywood Drug Party" was thrown around as a headline. Quotes out of context...oh and the fact that the video was shot from outside a slightly open window always seemed rather strange to me.

Well, now TMZ is reporting that there is about to be a lawsuit over the video...from the girl who is IN the video. Not surehow that is going to work.

So this weeks award goes to the jackass' involved in the scheme...who get extra Douche Points for waiting until after Heath was dead to release the video! Great job guys!

Practical Joke...

Nothing says fun like a little hazing on a professional level. See what happens when the ENTIRE Philadelphia Philly's organization is in on the joke. Telling third year pitcher Kyle Kendrick that he had been traded to Japan! Pay close attention to the end after Brett Meyers breaks the news to him that it's a joke...listen to who he was "traded" for.....

Relapse..

Dear Island Gods....

Please forgive me it, it has been a month since my last LOST viewing! I promise to never wait that long again (unless there are no new episodes to be had!).

Ok, so I am now eight episodes into season three....and I am still very confused! Atleast now I have, what I think, is a good handle on the Polar Bear problem. But, still...freaky stuff!

Oh, and can I say that I LOVE Elizabeth Mitchell? Is that ok?

Now sadly I am back to having to block out six hours a night to be able to Catch up!...

Only four more discs for season three then it's on to the DVR for this season.

C U Next Tuesday, Hillary....

Sometimes you really don't need a story to go with a picture, this is one of those pictures!

Just For Laughs Pt. 4

Omid Djalili....Iranian Stand-Up!! Woot!

Just For Laughs Pt. 3

The King of Funny....Eddie Izzard....

Just For Laughs Pt. 2

Jimmy Carr...


More to come later...

Just For Laughs Pt. 1

Dylan Moran....

D-Bag of the Week

Why should the guys have all the fun? I finally found a "winner" from the fairer sex!

It may be a few days late...but this weeks winner of the Blog This D-Bag of the week is....

Amber Lynn Goff

To Quote CNN.COM, "The former prison guard romantically involved with one of the two inmates she helped escape pleaded guilty Friday to a federal firearms charge, telling relatives she now realizes she was used."

But that wasn't the best line...that is reserved for her mom.

"She also feels like one of the world's greatest fools,"

NO!!!! Really?

Holy Crap...

I'm not sure if the word Crap does this trailer justice!

Mad World...

Found this story as a link on CNN.com.

The quick overview is that a bunch of 3rd graders got pissed at their teacher...and brought a knife, duct tape, handcuffs, and a heavy crystal paperweight to school to "hurt" the teacher.

But, it seems that some parents think it was more than likely they wanted to kill the teacher!

WTF?! Seriously...WTF?!

Both my parents are teachers and I always thought that if one of them was going to be attacked at school it would be my father the High School English Teacher...I didn't even think that my Mom, Third Grade Teacher, would even have to worry about shit like this.

As licensed mental health counselor Audrey Dearborn said in the article, "Before you would see these types of behavior in high school. Now, we've skipped the middle school and gone right to the third grade"

I want to be honest, that scares the hell out of me. Thank god I don't have any kids!

Next Year is Here

PLAYBALL!!!

We Named the Dog Indiana....

Thank God my Hero is Back.....May 22nd

Almost There!!!

Almost time to sit back relax and watch the Cubs...and anything else that may catch your eye at the game!

As of this exact minute...T-Minus 14 hrs 15min and counting....

WooT!

D-Bag of the Week...Pt. 2

Allen Beckett...your time as D-Bag of the week is over. It's been a good run (of a day) but sadly a recount was held and you lost.

You will get to keep your (non-existant) award and a * will appear by your name on the list of past winners...but the official title will pass to another.

For the first time we have a repeat winner!!!

I am excited to announce that, for the second week in a row, Kory McFarren is my Douche Bag of the week.

Apparently Kory felt the need to revisit some of his new friends in law enforcement. Not having the time to let another woman have her ass grow around a toilet seat Kory decided to jump right to lewd and lascivious behavior.

The Associated Press is reporting that McFarren, "allegedly exposed himself to a neighbor's teenage daughter and her friends."

Congrats on picking up the Silver Douche award...one more and you get to have the award cast in Gold!

I Have a DREAM...

Well maybe not a dream so much...but I do have spell check!

D-Bag of the Week!

This week I only had to read a few articles before I came across a guy who I felt was worthy of taking home the grand prize.



Never before have I even considered a member of any church for this award. But, times they are a changing.

Now before you think you know who I am talking about....you probably don't.

As a guy it should be painfully obvious why Allen Beckett, Church Deacon, from Oklahoma City picked up the award....HERE

I realize that he is a Church Deacon..but at some point in his 53 years on this Earth someone must have told him that there are things you just don't do during a fight...FOR ANY REASON!

WTF??

How do I best put this?

WHAT THE HELL????

Get Smart...

Woot!

Fun Stuff...

Nothing Earth shattering here...just surfing the world of news at 3am and came across this story.

Seems the Federal Government of THE United States of America may finally be one step closer to finding D.B. Cooper.

For those of you who don't know...D.B. Pissed off Uncle Sam when, way back in 1971, he was able to jump out of a plane with $200,000.

Seems the FBI has been hounding his possibly dead/possibly alive ass for the last 37 years....tax money hard at work!

Less than a week!

The official start of the baseball season may actually be in just under 12 hours with the Oakland and Boston game in Japan...

But, the real start to the season is in just over a week when the Cubs take on the Brewers in Chicago (1:20 central)

Go Cubbies!!!

Video Games and Cartoons...

While I have been thinking G.I. Joe for most of the afternoon...I almost forgot about another movie that I am looking forward to...METAL GEAR SOLID: The MOVIE!

I still remember cutting class back in College to stand in line at Best Buy to buy my copy of Metal Gear Solid for the ps2! Ah, those were the days.

Looks like according to MGSMOVIECHRONICLE the directing honors may be heading the way of Kurt Wimmer who directed Equalibrium.

Only time will tell how badass this movie will be...but if it can surpass some of the fan films on YouTube look out.....

General Hawk...

Say hello to Dennis "General Hawk" Quaid!

Hello!

BAMF!!

Now that my NCAA brackets are totally Fracked up I have turned my attention to more pressing matters...like the continuing cycle of reliving my youth.

First it was Transformers now it's G.I. Joe....

Coming to a theatre near you, August 7th 2009!

First up...costume shot for Snake Eyes...BAMF!!

If this movie is even half as cool as this photo I think I will be in heaven. As of now most of the cast is in place and there are some choices that I love!

First and foremost is my favorite villian in the COBRA corps.....DESTRO. Welcome Christopher Eccelston (Dr.WHO) I can't express how much I love this casting! Eccelston I think can bring the chops and the sarcastic wit to a dark character!

For a full list, and a discussion board to boot check this out.

My only problem at this point is that there is no actor...or character for that matter...listed for Shipwreck! The greatest of all comic relief characters in the G.I. Joe Universe!

Can't wait for this one to hit the Cinema....too bad the wait is over a year!!

D-Bag of the Week

Well, after much consideration we finally have a winner for this weeks D-Bag award. And the winner is.....

Kory McFarren, age 37, of Ness City, Kansas!!

Not sure if you have heard of Kory and his douche worthy deed (other than spelling his name with a K)? Well, I would venture to guess that not only have you heard his story...but you have probably already called him a giant D-Bag!

Seems Kory is the loving boyfriend of the woman who sat on the toilet so long that he skin actually grew AROUND THE TOILET SEAT!!

Did Kory think of getting help? NO....He just brought her food!

On top of this award, Kory has also been charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult.

Way to go Kory!!

Almost forgot....

In case you don't want your boss (or spouse) knowing you visited the Girls Gone Wild website they have the best tag I have ever seen.

"Ashley rode the GGW Bus long before she rode the former Gov. of New York."

Classic!

Spitzer's Girl "Gone Wild"

Hard to believe that there was even a chance that "Girls Gone Wild" in the miles of tape they had shot would have someone as famous as Ashley Dupre on tape.

Having a hard time putting a face to the name (look below)? This post's title not enough of a hint for you? Well follow the link to the girls gone wild website...of head over to the tamer, more work safe TMZ website.

The part I find funny is that Joe Francis was offering her $1,000,000.00 to show up and just be a 'host"....until a staffer asked if anyone had checked to see if they already had her on tape!

If I was that staffer....and God I wish I was...I would be thinking that a nice Easter bonus should be instore. I would be all, "Joe...I just saved you a MILLION dollars...how about a little extra scratch in the paycheck this month?" I wouldn't be asking for much...$50,000.00 is a nice round number and the company still comes out $950,000.00 ahead!

But, that's just me.

Give the Man a Donut (ring)

So, while it's not as bad as Felix Pie and his Twisted Testical....Kaz Matsui's injury reads a lot worse...

The Houston Chronicle reports that Kaz Matsui underwent surgery Monday to repair an anal fissure, and he's expected to open the season on the 15-day disabled list.

Thanks to Wikipedia: An anal fissure is an unnatural crack or tear in the anus skin. As a fissure, these tiny tears may show as bright red rectal bleeding and cause severe periodic pain after defecation. The tear usually extends from the anal opening and located posteriorly in the midline. This location is probably because of the relatively unsupported nature of the anal wall in that location.

So...Pie has his testicle sewn to the inner lining of his scrotum and he is going to miss five days. But, an "anal fissure" is two weeks! Now that I look back at the Wiki entry...gotta say...I still think I would rather have Testicular Torsion...

Sorry Man!

While My Guitar Gently Weeps...

I HEART Rock Band!

Harold and Kumar 2

Finally a movie worth paying to see!

Because I am all about the folllow up!

Episode II: Zombie kid grows up

I like Turtles....

Thank you You Tube!

D-Bag of the Week

When I used to see this face in the national news all I could think was, "what a d-bag!"

Now, all I can think is..."what a d-bag...who LOVES the whores!"

Elliott Spitzer, come on down...you are the newest winner of the illustrious "D-Bag of the Week Award"

Seriously, the business of the governor's of other states usually doesn't make a dent on my radar. Seems that Illinois' Gov. Rod Blagojevich has done enough to keep my attention at home.

But, when you throw in a federal probe and a boat load of high priced hookers...I take notice.

I think that the day this story broke, Gov. Blagojevich decided to take a nap. Since finally there was a bigger screw up in office somewhere!

On a fun side note: Since Spitzer was forced to resign, Lt. Gov. David Patterson becomes New York's first black governor....and he's legally blind! There's a feel good story for ya!

LOST! Now what?

So I have finally made it through the second season of Lost! Now the only thing that is going through my head is, "do I want to stay awake for another three hours to watch another disc?"

Not a good dilema to have at 2 am!

Still so many questions!!! At this pace, and with the weekend off, I should be current by next weeks episode. I can't wait to be able to talk to people about the show! Or, at the least, visit a few websites!!

New Tv Returns...

Well..next week we finally start to get new episodes of some old favorites! Plus we also get to the second season of my all time favorite FX show (that isn't: Rescue Me or The Shield)... The Riches!

Seems the Eddie Izzard/Minnie Driver series sees its triumphant retun to the airwaves next Tuesday!

Thank you FX for making great TV!! Woot!

Sports Injuries

So my recent post on Felix Pie and his ... um ... unfortunate injury got me thinking of other "great' sports injuries.

Now we aren't talking about your line drives off the face, or fast balls to the balls (John Kruk aside...what a strange way to find out you have testicular cancer by the way). No here we are going to focus on the strange, the odd, the downright dumb ass reasons that some Pro Athletes have missed games.

Some of my personal favorites are:

Tigers Pitcher Joel Zumaya -- missed three post season games after straining his wrist playing a little too much Guitar Hero!

Sammy Sosa -- Missed a Sunday game with the Cubs due to a sneeze (granted it was more the back spasms that the sneeze brought on!)

Jeff Kent -- "Fell off his Truck"...actually pulling a Kellen Winslow. (Stunt riding his motorcycle in a parking lot!)

Adam Eaton -- Didn't know this one until I started looking on the net...seems he got himself a one way trip to the ER after stabbing himself in the abdomen...trying to open a DVD.

Gus Frerotte -- Missed playing time with a concussion...after he laid down a massive hit...on himself. Seems he was a little excited following a TD. Frerotte decided to celebrate a Washington Redskins TD by running head first (on purpose) into a wall at the back corner of the end zone! Brilliant!

back to baseball...

Clint Barmes -- During his rookie season with the Colordo Rockies he, fell down the stairs and broke his collarbone. At first he told the club he had a sack of food in his hands...what he really had was a slab of deer meat given to him by Todd Helton. Oops!

John Smoltz -- On of the greatest pitchers of all time... and maybe not that bright a bulb. He once burned himself while ironing a shirt. Apparently Smoltz was wearing the shirt at the time

For a list of these and other injuries check out:

ArmchairGM
Strange Sports

also check out the photo gallery tribute to Odd injuries at Sports Illustrated

Nuts!

Felix Pie....all I can say is, sorry man!

The Cubs center fielder is going to miss 3-5 days, according to a Chicago Tribune article.

The worst part is that it seems the injury that will keep him out for almost week is... gulp...

Testicular (balls) Torsion (twisted).

That's right, Pie will be out with a twisted testicle! Now, as my sister put it, how does one actually twist a testicle?

Oh, and I lied...the worst part is actually the "minor procedure" done to correct the issue.

Doctor's had to actually, "sew the outer layer of the testicle to the scrotum wall."

Again....Sorry!!

Too Much Time/Money Equals????

The most worthless tattoo in the world!

Dude got breast implants for his tat!

I'm just saying!

Hey Bubba...

So I got a call from my loving sister last week...not really that strange, we talk alot. But, this call had a purpose.

Debi: "Hey, you're never going to belive what WGN is running ever morning now?!"

ME: "What?"

Debi: "Nash Bridges!!!"

ME: "No Way!"

Basically it goes on in short bursts like that for a while...but that was the meat of the conversation for purposes of here!

Nash Bridges...one of my all time favorite cop drama's is back on TV.

Once it went off the air I was always shocked that it didn't get a heavy rotation of syndication or a DVD release.

I think it was the combination of the action and comedy aspects of this show that has allowed it to stick in my head.

Joe's (Cheech Marin) get rich quick schemes were priceless...including, among the many..the time he bought into part ownership of a bar he had never seen...his partner died...and he finds out that the dive bar is actually a Gay Nightclub Hotspot!

Cheech's outright comedy played well off of Don Johnson's dry wit.

After watching a few episodes the other day I suddenly wanted to bust out my copy of Tin Cup.

I could go on and on...but I won't..mostly because I need to take a break and watch another episode of Lost!

So if you remember the Don Johnson/Cheech Marin/Bright Yellow '71 Cuda action tune in EVERY DAY to WGN for two hours of Nashy goodness..

Oops...

Ok, so I missed my weekly deadline for the D-Bag of the week award yesterday. It just seems that since I have started watching Lost (started Saturday and I am now halfway through season 2) not a lot else has been getting done!

So in the place of the weekly D-Bag award...I have an honorable mention...

Earlier in the week, at work, I got a news release from the Illinois State Police that was pretty funny if you ask me.

So, in order to protect the innocent, or mildly retarded in this case, no names will be used....insert your favorite dumb friend into the story for a nice personal touch.

Seems that a driver was pulled over on I-57 South Bound near Paxton, IL. He was pulled over for being clocked going 138mph in a 65mph zone. A little fast, unless there is a phantom zone on the interstate system in Illinois that has a slightly higher speed zone than ANYWHERE else.

But, the speed isn't what is the best part...in the officers notes section it stated that: "when asked what the rush was, driver ________ responded with "I am on the way to Unofficial St. Patrick's day in Champaign!"

Nothing like telling a cop the reason you were speeding was so that you could get to drinking faster!

On the other hand, could have been worse had it been: "Well, officer, I was on my way BACK from Unofficial....and I really needed to get home fast!"

Of Polar Bears and Smoke Monsters...

An open letter to my friends who watch Lost:

I am Sorry!

I have, for years now, made fun of you! Wispered strange things about you and "your show"! I take it all back.

It seems that what started out as a vendetta to stay away from the new "it" show has led me to be about four years behind the curve. Usually, I feel I have made the right choice in situations like this in the past: All reality tv, American Idol, anything with a host who wasn't Regis Philbin, Bob Barker, or Drew Carey...for the most part I have stuck to my guns, and I was right!

But, here I have to digress and say in the immortal words of Denis Leary....oops! I fucked up! Please forgive me for my misguided ways! That being said...I am now officially scared to see any animal out of it's normal habitat. Polar Bears on a freakin' Tropical Island! Seriously what is more freaky that that I ask you? Maybe the paralyzed walking or a fat guy who, on a deserted island with little or no food, lose no weight ( P.S. I want to be Hurley! 156 Million aside).

So there you have it...I have officially become one of the Lost....rather than on of the "others"... and sadly I am not far enough into the series to know what that MEANS!!!

OK, Thanks go out to Chris for loaning me his first and third seasons! Levi for returning the second season to Chris just in time for him to loan it to me...Chris again for getting me season two in a timely fashion! And to Laryngitis, whithout which I am not sure I would have had the motivation to sit down and actually watch season one over the course of two days!

Again...I am sorry.

Yours,
James

P.S. This letter brought to you by the numbers: 4 8 15 16 23 and 42
(oddly...posted at 1:08pm!!)

WoW!! I'm Speechless (for a few reasons)

So, with the voice not back yet I decided to watch a ton of tv this weekend...thank you Chris for hookin' me on the Smack that is Lost!

And thank you PBS for introducing me to Tal Wilkenfeld, by way of Jeff Beck, by way of Eric Clapton's 2007 Crossroads Concert! By the way...she was 21 at the time of the concert...and girl can rip!

Grr...(cause that's all I can say!)

Right now I would have to say that I am really...REALLY hating Laryngitis! Not sure if it is the fact that I can't talk, swallow, go five minutes without coughing up a lung...or the fact that I am pretty much going to have to face the rest of the weekend in bed.

And not in the good way!

Haven't gone to the doc....but according to Healthscout.com it seems that once I hit the third day with no voice and a persistant cough/fever it is officially Laryngitis. The only real suprise to me was that I spelled Laryngitis right on the first go!